Chunky Chinese Children

Dance classes soon will be mandatory for Chinese elementary and secondary students because of worries about increased obesity, The China Daily reported Tuesday.

The China Daily said in a front-page story that the dance classes – “to suit the physical and psychological characteristics of students at all ages” – will become compulsory from Sept. 1, quoting a notice from the Education Ministry.

I have a couple of theories as to why the young Chinese are getting chunkier.

Could it be that just maybe the children are getting fat because there’s no other children to play with because they’re all being aborted? For every couple there’s only 1.2 children born.

Or could it be that there are no girls allowed to survive birth in China so guys don’t have a reason to stay in shape. What’s the fun in being the high school ping-pong champion if there are no cheerleaders?

Or my last and final theory comes from a headline yesterday. Get this. “China police find 5 babies in stolen car.” These babies don’t have time to exercise because they’re too busy leading a life of crime!