Greetings Mary, Jam-Packed with Grace.

Amy Welborn has an excellent post commenting on a recent article by Bishop Trautman of Erie in the magazine America. The basic premise of Bishop Trautman’s piece is that American Catholics are too stupid to understand words and phrases such as:

• “O God, who suffused blessed John with the spirit of mercy”
• “Cyril, an unvanquished champion of the divine motherhood”
• “Make holy these gifts, we pray, by the dew of your Spirit?”
• And big words such as “sullied”, “unfeigned”, “ineffable”, “gibbet”, “wrought”, “thwart?”

Therefore, as the Bishop would have it, we need language that us dummies can ‘own’. In this spirit, I give you the Bishop Trautman approved version of the ‘Hail Mary’

Greetings Mary, jam-packed with grace.
The big Guy is with you.
You are really a stand-out compared to other women.
And awesome is the product of your uterus. Jesus.
Really good person, Mary, God’s mommy, Ask God to look the other way at our goof-ups.
Now, and when a doctor decides my quality of life is not worth living. Okay.

Hope you dummies could follow along. But alas, you were probably distracted by something shiny before you could finish it anyway.