Ecosexual Do’s Seem Like Dating Don’ts

They call themselves ecosexuals – green-minded men and women who date with an eye toward preserving the environment, according to Hamptons.com.

“The ‘green’ buzzword has infiltrated our consciousness in terms of what we eat and how we recycle and when we drive to the store or walk,” Heather Buchanan writes on Hamptons.com, a Web site focusing on Long Island’s tony summer playground. “Now it’s even entered the equation of ‘your carbon-footprint-free place or mine?’

Here are several of Buchanan’s tips for ecosexual dating which seem to me to be the quickest ways to be single other than hanging out with PeeWee Herman. My snide comments are in parentheses.
• Guys, pick up your date on your bicycle if possible. (She can ride in the basket and ring the handlebar bell if she’s bored.)

• When exchanging gifts, eschew metallic gift wrapping and packaging that will get thrown away. Instead look for something reusable, like a decorative linen napkin. (Hmmm…decorative linen napkins are a girl’s best friend)

• If the gift is jewelry, help recycling efforts by buying an antique or estate-sale piece. (This was somebody’s grandmother’s but she’s probably dead now and I want you to have it.)

• When preparing for a date, women should avoid shampoos and cosmetics that use animal products or synthetic preservatives. (She was nice but she smelled like a farm)

• In the green bedroom, opt for bedding made from 100-percent organic cotton hand-picked in India. (The bedroom after this date seems unlikely for many reasons but mainly because you may both be too tired from the bike ride.)

• Use a dimmer light to save energy, and a ceiling fan instead of air conditioning. (And it also saves your parent’s money on their electric bill since you’ll be living in their basement a little while longer.)