The Race to Irrelevance

Not to be out-done in the race to irrelevance by rejecting all christian truth, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America passed a resolution at its annual assembly urging bishops to refrain from disciplining pastors who are in “faithful committed same-gender relationships.”

The ELCA, which has 4.8 million members, had previously allowed gays to serve as pastors so long as they abstained from sexual relations.

ELCA spokesperson F. Nidiot said “We were concerned that other protestant bodies had rejected more fundamental Christian truth than we had, so we are playing catch-up here.”

“The gospel of inclusion has won and we’re going to keep winning.” Asked whether the gospel of inclusion was actually Jesus’ gospel, Nidiot said “Who?”

The ECLA has formed a committee specifically to insure that is not caught behind the eight ball in the future. “We have formed quick reaction task force that will monitor all other mainline protestant denominations. If we think that any other denomination is likely to legitimize or sanction anything that was previously thought to be sinful, we will insure that we sanction it first. Doing away with the concept of sin is a slow process, but the ECLA is committed to be in the vanguard in this crusade.”