Reasonable Pastoral Objections

From an anonymous pastor on his objections to the Motu Prorio.

This might mean scheduling an extra mass on Sunday. I would either have to get up really early or miss some football. Gotta have priorities.
An extra mass means I have to do that long walk from the rectory to the church one more time. Sometimes it is raining or cold. I could get sick. I might have to call the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. I have my rights.
It would be a shame to just throw away a musical tradition that is at least 30 years old!
Without the help of a dozen extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, Communion might take like…over ten minutes or something. Are they kidding?
If I turn my back to the people, I won’t be the center of attention. What is the point of that?
Have you seen the people who attend the Latin Mass? The men in shirts and slacks, the women in modest dresses and some even wear those doily thingys on their heads. Creepy. Who are they trying to impress? Shorts and flip-flops is good enough for me and God. The important thing is that they are there.
Besides, Latin is hard and I didn’t really pay attention during those classes in seminary. It would be a lot of effort to learn it. I really don’t have time as it would interfere with my Reiki classes.

*Note….I know many Pastors and priests work very hard…it is just a joke. Feel free to add your own.