Mystery Illness Strikes Village after Meteor Crash

Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area Saturday, regional authorities said.

Villagers were startled by an explosion and a fireball that many were convinced was an airplane crashing near their remote village, located in the high Andes department of Puno near the border with Bolivia.

Ok. Ok. I’ve seen this movie. Ladies and gentlemen in a few days we’re about to see a massive increase in the zombie population here on planet Earth.

Villagers began complaining of headaches and vomiting brought on by a “strange odor,” local health department official Jorge Lopez told Peruvian radio RPP. That fits. That’s how it always starts.

Seven policemen who went to check on the reports also became ill, Lopez said.

Great! Now we have armed zombies with badges! So what happens after the villagers become mysteriously ill and then the police who go in also get mysteriously sick? Of course! Send in more people. Rescue teams and experts were dispatched to the scene, where the meteorite left a 100-foot-wide (30-meter-wide) and 20-foot-deep (six-meter-deep) crater, said local official Marco Limache. “Boiling water started coming out of the crater and particles of rock and cinders were found nearby. Residents are very concerned,” he said.

Yeah me too. My prescription is nuke the town TODAY!!!! Don’t we know how quickly zombie-ism spreads? If we do nothing we will all soon be in starring in our own B-movies. In the meantime, does anyone know where I can buy a flamethrower?