Dolphins are Just Like Humans After All

It’s hard to visualise but the intelligent and ever-friendly dolphin can also be a determined killer, says the UK Telegraph. Shocking new video has been taken by marine scientists that prove the normally placid dolphin is capable of brutal attacks both on innocent fellow marine mammals and, more disturbingly, on its own kind.

Film taken of gangs of dolphins repeatedly ramming baby porpoises, tossing them in the air and pursuing them to the death has solved a long-term mystery of what causes the death of so many of these harmless mammals – but has left animal experts baffled as to the motive.

I know the motive. They’re evil. Look, you can’t look that much like a shark and not be bad. This isn’t a scientific rule or anything but it feels right.

So all these years, animal rights folks have been yelling at fishermen that they’re killing baby dolphins which are getting caught in their net. Well guess who the biggest killer of baby dolphins are? Grown up dolphins.

That silly beeping and screeching noise they always make that we thought was them communicating lovely dolphin ideas must now be seen for what it always has been, mocking laughter. They fooled us for decades.

All that talk that dolphins are almost human has finally been proven ridiculous, right? Can you imagine race of creatures that destroys their smallest babies for hardly any reason at all? How stupid. How evil. Oh wait a second…