McCain Resurrects Zombie Reagan

In a move bound to both rankle and awe conservative members of his party, presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain resurrected the remains of former President Ronald Reagan to appear next to him.

“You wanted Reagan,” screamed McCain from the dais at the C-PAC convention. “Well I brought him. Let’s see Romney do that.” The confused crowd looked around until McCain unveiled what he brought to the convention. “Huckabee go get him,” he ordered his assistant, Governor Mike Huckabee scurried behind the curtain only to return again leading a ressurected and zombified former President Ronald Reagan by the hand.

There were scattered cheers, a few eewws, and a number of “Dear Lord, what pox has this man brought unto us!” heard throughout the well attended event.

Zombie Reagan did not officially endorse anyone as his missing jawbone made speech difficult but the McCain campaign surely hopes that Reagan’s “presence” will bring the conservatives to the McCain campaign – even those who ran out of the convention promising to return with pitchforks and torches.

McCain’s opponent Gov. Mitt Romney suggested that zombie Reagan be placed between him and McCain and see which one zombie Reagan comes to.

The McCain camp didn’t respond to that suggestion though one McCain aide suggested that they dug the former president up, cleaned him up, fed him fresh flesh of now- missing prostitutes so they didn’t think it likely the Romney camp would even get an audience with zombie Reagan.