Movie About “Pope Joan” Set for Release

The armies of female ordination have just taken over Hollywood and are now set to march onto the Vatican. Coming soon to a movie theater near you is a “historical drama” about “Pope Joan.” Shooting is set to begin in August, for a planned 2009 release, says Yahoo.

You’ve heard of Pope Joan, right? Pope Joan is the name of a female pope (also La Papessa) who supposedly reigned for less than three years in the 850s, based on a legend that circulated in the Middle Ages. Pope Joan is regarded by most modern historians and religious scholars as fictitious, possibly originating as an anti-papal satire.

But Hollywood is taking it seriously and making it into a movie, based on the Donna Cross book, which has all the accuracy of a Dan Brown novel.

Thankfully, the movie is running into all sorts of trouble. German actress Johanna Wokalek (“Barefoot”) is rumored to be replacing Franke Potente as the 9th-century female pontiff in “Pope Joan.”

Directors were changed. Production was called off after John Goodman, who had been cast to play Pope Sergius, pulled out. Lawsuits ensued.

The synopsis of the book says:

“The novel is based on the life of one of the most fascinating, extraordinary women in Western history–Pope Joan, a controversial figure of historical record who, disguised as a man, rose to rule Christianity in the 9th century as the first and only woman to sit on the throne of St. Peter.

Never mind that nearly everyone says she’s completely made up.

That won’t stop television shows from yacking about this great historic heroine who struggled against restrictions her souls would not accept. Oh. There will be press conferences, liberals will cheer about the movie “speaking truth to power. Larry King will ask the director “So why is the Church trying to silence you?” Let’s hope this all doesn’t work out.