If You’re Reading This You’re Probably Dead

Today’s the last day. Too bad. A shame for the wife and kids too, I guess.

What? You didn’t hear. Today is doomsday. It’s all over. Kaput. Finis’. Sayonara. Bye-bye.

A self-styled prophet from central Texas is giving doomsday predicting another shot by pegging Thursday as the start of a world-ending nuclear war.

“It could be turned loose before then,” Yisrayl “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins told ABC’s “20/20” for a report to be broadcast Friday night. “You are going to see this very soon, really soon.”

Now Hawkins doesn’t really have this down to a science yet as he made a similar prediction in 2006 that, while obviously in error, was frightening enough that hundreds of his followers in Kenya took to their cellars.

Hawkins’ latest prediction is that the war will begin somewhere in the vicinity of the Euphrates River, which runs from Turkey through Syria and Iraq and into the Persian Gulf.

Hmmm. A war in the Middle East? Shocking! Whoever heard of such a thing?

ABC said some of Hawkins’ followers have grown leery of the Abilene prophet, not so much because of his prognosticating but because he urges his followers to stock up on survival rations produced by a company that he controls. This is one smart dude. So he’s kind of like Al Gore who owns a company which was specifically established to take financial advantage of new technologies and solutions related to combating Global Warming and yells doomsday is nigh. Not a bad gig if you can get it.

So anyway. This doomsday thing bums me out because I was really looking forward to seeing The Incredible Hulk…oh yeah and also seeing my kids grow up and all that stuff…but the Hulk looks really good.