Stay Out The Bushes!

“We’d better get back, ’cause it’ll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night…mostly.”
– Newt from the movie Aliens

Imagine, you live in a nice neighborhood with nice neighbors surrounded by the beauty of nature. Each lawn, nicely manicured. The bushes trimmed to perfection. Everything in its place, well almost. There is a public area near your neighborhood that is becoming overgrown. So you and your friends, through your local government, decide to trim and prune the area to beautify it and perhaps even encourage some of God’s little critters to scamper about playfully. So if you and your friends lived in a suburb of Bristol in the U.K. you know what you would be called if you wanted to trim those bushes? Environmentalist? No. Good stewards? Nope. Horticulturists? Nuh-uh. No, you would be called homophobes and bigots.

You see, in the nice neighborhood of Clifton, a suburb of Bristol, the particular overgrown area is the local hot-spot for homosexual men to have public sex with each other.

[Telegraph] Bristol City Council wants to prune bushes and remove cover from an area known as the Downs to improve the landscape and encourage rare wildlife.

But its own gay rights group has opposed the move, claiming that cutting back the bushes was “discriminating” to homosexual men who used the area for late night outdoor sex known as dogging.

Work on the beauty spot has been temporarily delayed while talks with gay rights groups take place to try and break the deadlock.

I don’t know what dogging is and I don’t wan’t to know. So now these “Friends of Dorothy” are not content to battle for equal rights, they want rights that nobody else has as well. They want the right to have undisturbed “sex” in public. To oppose this absurdity means that you are discriminating. Indeed!

Now you may be tempted to think that this absurd claim to a right that nobody has would not be taken seriously. Think again. Last year this very same spot was in the news. At that time, four firemen stumbled upon the rocking bushes and shined their flashlights on the men in flagrante delicto. The Firemen, for their trouble, were fined £1,000 each and transferred to other firehouses for being “homophobic” for embarrassing the dogging male malefactors. You can’t make this stuff up.

So now in the name of fictitious rights of discourteous criminals, all right thinking people should stay at home at night and if you do venture out the door, do not bring a flashlight. This place has gone to the dogs.