Can I Pray For A Smiting?

Question for all you budding moral theologians. Is it morally licit to pray for a smiting?

Not a macro-smiting like when the Babylonians burn down your village and steal your women and children. No, more like a micro-smiting. Like if you pray that someone stubs their toe and then backs into a hot frying pan. Or maybe praying that someone’s car doesn’t start on a really cold morning when they are already in a rush. A micro-smiting. Is it licit to pray for something like that?

See, the reason I am wondering about this is that I foolishly read Republican turncoat Kathleen Parker. If it wasn’t bad enough how she savaged Sarah Palin simply to get booked more often on CNN and MSNBC, now she is savaging you and me. Well, to be specific, she is savaging any of you “low brow”, “oogedy boogedy”, G-O-D fearin’ types.

As Republicans sort out the reasons for their defeat, they likely will overlook or dismiss the gorilla in the pulpit.

Three little letters, great big problem: G-O-D.

I’m bathing in holy water as I type.

To be more specific, the evangelical, right-wing, oogedy-boogedy branch of the GOP is what ails the erstwhile conservative party and will continue to afflict and marginalize its constituents if reckoning doesn’t soon cometh.

Simply put: Armband religion is killing the Republican Party. And, the truth — as long as we’re setting ourselves free — is that if one were to eavesdrop on private conversations among the party intelligentsia, one would hear precisely that…

So it has been for the Grand Old Party since the 1980s or so, as it has become increasingly beholden to an element that used to be relegated to wooden crates on street corners.

Which is to say, the GOP has surrendered its high ground to its lowest brows.

So again, can I pray for a proportional smiting? Just enough to make her cry a little. That way I can quote my buddy Keifer Sutherland (no stranger to smiting himself) in A Few Good Men. “Kathleen Parker stubbed her toe and is crying and that is a tragedy. But she cried because she had no code, she cried because she had no honor, and G-O-D was watching.‘”

Parker has been all over the airwaves as of late due to her Palin treachery. Sure, there were reasonable arguments for and against Palin, but Parker’s wasn’t one of them. She accused McCain of picking her for VP because his hormones got the better of him. Classy.

But, her ploy worked and now Parker is working. She sold herself out for work by throwing Palin under the bus. Now she is hoping that throwing Christian conservatives under the bus will get her even more of the same. After all, she is just giving her employers what they want, so that she can work.

Dear Ms. Parker, selling yourself for work only succeeds in making you …well … a working girl. You will have to forgive me for that, I am just a low brow after all.