Calling the Bishop Names

Bishop Daniel Thomas visited our parish today and concelebrated Mass. You could tell people were on their best behavior. They even sang. I mean, we weren’t like Baptists or anything but you could hear us sing which is pretty odd for Catholics. And hardly anyone left right after Communion. That’s good news. But one kinda’ funny thing happened on the way out.

Bishop Thomas stood outside Mass greeting everyone on their way out. You could see all the folks lining up to say hello. But it was funny because just as they approached you could see them realize that they had no idea what to call a Bishop. I watched men stop suddenly and whisper to their wives. I saw wives shrug. Father? Bishop? Eminence? Holiness? One man completely panicked, pulled his kids out of line, dropped back a few spots, and asked a Knights of Columbus member who told him “Your Excellency.”

Quickly, I watched the word go up like in a prison everyone whispering a message to each other. Bishop Thomas was gracious no matter what he was called.

But I can’t imagine what’ll happen if the Cardinal shows up. People will be crawling out the back doors and bathroom windows.