How to Celebrate Atheist Pride Week

Former atheist Jen Fulwiler has essentially dared us to come up with activities for atheists to do during Atheist Pride Week. She wrote, “I’ll leave it to the Archbolds to come up with some witty suggestions for how one might celebrate A Week.”

As you know, CMR does not back down from challenges so…(pause for drama)… Here’s CMR’s official Top Ten List of Activities for Atheists During Atheist Pride Week.

1) Invite your atheist friends over, rent the entire Ricky Gervais’ movie catalogue from Netflix, and discuss why someone so brilliant and atheisty can’t make a good movie. (Makes for a nice early night!)

2) Come up with excuses why it’s irrelevant that atheist utopias always end up with lots of dead people.

3) Figure out how to convince doctor you have glaucoma so you can get medical marijuana.

4) Attend nihilist convention in an ill lit ballroom and stare into the nothingness while listening to REM’s “Everybody Hurts” and inhaling your glaucoma medicine.

5) Do nothing. Nothing matters anyway.

6) Talk with other atheists about how brave you are to be atheists.

7) Troll Catholic blogs all day (just like you do every day) leaving nasty comments and sign off feeling superior while inhaling your glaucoma medicine.

8) Go to Whole Foods for a nice organic feast to celebrate atheism called A-Whole.

9) Attend conference at Berkeley entitled, “Misunderstood Mao.”

10) Declare war on Libya.

11) Tell my mother she’s like totally dumb or something for believing in God and then slam the door on the way back to my room in the basement. (What? It’s got a separate entrance.)

If you’d like to add your own activities, please feel free in the combox.