“A Plea to Atheists” by Marc Barnes

Marc Barnes of Bad Catholic wrote this excellent piece about atheists. Read it and then please check him out at Bad Catholic.

There was an age when godless Atheists
were taken gravely by the populace,
and Christian strength did tremble and resist,
so bold and clear were Freethought’s postulates.

The Faithless then, it’s true, they shook the world,
maps reshaped by Marx and Lenin’s triumph,
Our Dear Sigmund, ideas of God he hurled,
and Nietzsche’s roars did cow the Christians silent.

Oh glory days! Disciples gained! See how
in France mere pamphlets smote the clergy,
and governments forc’d by these men to ‘llow,
the Secular State – in all its glory.

Alas, we now view these Atheists, New, and
by heav’n, what the hell could have happened?
How did men of such cold strength relapse,
in such awkward and piteous fashion?

Orat’ry that once did fright the Christian lambs,
Now shared for laughs upon our Facebook pages.
Where once they stood alone without a damn
now cliques online their angsty doubt assuages.

Think back, atheists, to your brightest goals;
Fred’richs end of weak morality.
Now your wisemen Christ’s love-of-poor extol;
Why? Darwinian congeniality?

Or to excommunicate the church from state,
so well ‘ccomplished in Mother Russia.
Now you can but whine, that on pennies and dimes,
“In-God-We-Trust” still shines with luster.

Or what of your missionary spirit,
that sent Dawkins to teach us all Science?
Remind me again, for I’ve met none of them,
have any left church by your guidance?

Likewise, what of that aching desire,
to free a repressed and ign’rant world?
But the world you can’t bless with casual sex,
when so darn few of your number are girls.

But stop! Could it be? I spy that old strength!
Eradication all of the religious?”
What boldness! How fresh! How daring – oh, wait,
Here comes the ‘it wasn’t literal’ pretense.

Good Lord above, it embarrasses us,
this timidity by once-bold heathens,
How’s one to respond, when these men-without-God,
whine like fundamentalist Christians?

So we raise up a prayer to the heavn’ly host,
And beg for divine inspiration,
for if atheists stay with this apathy dosed,
I fear for the faith of the nations.

For without the breath of the dragon,
Would St. George have cared to be bold?
So atheists please, muster the strength to believe,
in your faith so furious and cold,
lest rust take the Papist’s sword,
because seriously, guys, as much as we appreciate your bitterness and all, and can’t wait for the next vlog that totally skewers Creationism with Science, and are holding our breath for your next movie or promotional campaign, everyone on this side’s getting bored.

Note: Marc blogs at Bad Catholic.