If you can’t beat them, join them. (Note: For those satirically challenged, please see the definition of parody)
Rome — Pope Benedict, a former Hitler youth, will tell Roman Catholic priests in coming days that they can say mass in Latin— a dead language the no one knows anymore—as a concession to right wing extremists in the church, known as traditionalists.See Related Story.
Summorum Pontificum a Blow to Sinners, Hell-Based Community Groups.
——Papal document damages relations with sinners and demons.
The decree by the Pope, a former Hitler youth, is known as a Motu Proprio. This cryptic latin phrase can be loosely translated “I can do whatever I want because I am the Pope and you can’t stop me.”
The Latin Mass, also known as the Tridentine mass, is a product of the ‘dark ages’ and was understandably jettisoned by the reforms of the Second Vatican Council. The latin mass is said by the priest with his back to the congregation whispering secret prayers that only he can understand. In the Tridentine mass the laity does not participate at all , so they often turn to knitting, macramé, or checkers to pass the time.
The move by the Pope, a former Hitler youth, has raised concern about reviving parts of the old liturgy that Jews consider anti-Semitic, gays consider homo-phobic, women consider sexist, dwarves consider anti-dwarfic (communion rails are too high), and priests consider too difficult to learn.
The publication of this document is to be accompanied by a letter from the Pope, a former Hitler youth, to individual bishops explaining why he is doing this against their will and better judgment.
French Cardinal Singe de Reddition commented, “We are très disturbed by this action by the Pope, a former Hitler youth. We are très, très upset about this. We just managed to get all these people to stop coming to church and we are très afraid that the Churches will fill up again. If that happens, the rest of Europe is sure to look down on us, you know, the way we look down on everyone else.”
It is widely believed that the Pope, a former Hitler youth, is restoring the mass as a copout to the right wing group known as Lefebvrists and that this constitutes a complete rejection of all the reforms of Vatican II.
It remains unclear at this time, since the exact contents of the documents are still unknown, how long it will be before the Church sets up the Inquisition again. Details should be available in “a few days.”
July 9, 2007 at 5:19 am
side-splitin’ funny. Cain’t wait fer the Inquisition, an auto da fe…let’s roll!
July 9, 2007 at 2:36 pm
WONDERFUL!
After having left a detailed rebuttal yesterday on AOL’s (un) coverage of the Pope’s actions, libeled–er, I mean LABELED (sorry)–“Pope Changes Church Rule”–this is uncannily close to the tone of most of the news coverage out there.
As far as whether this was a good time to “make fun” of the situation…OF COURSE it is. Being aware that satire is among the richest ways to draw legitimate attention on legitimate issues, how can it not be the right time?
By point of fact, the only complaint I have about more traditional Catholicism is that, in its perception of constant attack, it has completely lost its sense of humor. But Satan loves that part. He LOVES when we get defensive, paranoid, and see enemies under every bush; when we get so snobby that only liturgical Latin will do for our Masses, only chant will do for our music, and only receiving on the tongue will do for our Eucharist. When we start splitting these kinds of hairs, Satan’s clapping his hands together in glee, because he’s managed to do THROUGH us what, if he tried by direct means, he couldn’t do TO us…he’s made us into Catholic Pharisees.
Long live Pope Benedict! Long live Catholics with a sense of humor! And as for the rest of you who don’t get “parody”…better start checking those bushes again. You just never know.
Janny
July 9, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Janny,
Thank you so much. Actually, when you wrote “in its perception of constant attack, it has completely lost its sense of humor. But Satan loves that part. He LOVES when we get defensive, paranoid, and see enemies under every bush”
This is the reason we created this blog. We felt there was definitely room for some levity.
Thanks so much for your comment.
July 10, 2007 at 4:24 am
Funny – I was just about that today:
“The tragedy of what we do to ourselves when we choose to fixate on the faults of others is seen in Jesus’ cure of the man with the withered hand: On another Sabbath he came to teach in a synagogue where there was a man whose right hand was withered. The scribes and the Pharisees were on the watch to see if he would perform a cure on the Sabbath so that they could find charge against him. Luke 6:6-7.) quoted from “The Love that Keeps Us Sane” by Marc Foley. Awesome book.
and, Archibald, I wasn’t even sure if what I was reading was seriuos or not until I lauged outright, then I thought “I this guy IS serious, it would be so ridiculously funny on not just one, but TWO levels!” 🙂
July 10, 2007 at 4:26 am
oh, and excuse me, I can’t spell!!!
July 10, 2007 at 9:15 am
It seems clear that at least 50% of those commenting are sans frontal lobe.
How did you folks get out of kindergatren?
I am not sure which is funnier, the post, or the idiots who think you are pefectly serious.
They’d probably read Swift’s “A modest proposal” and think that serious too.
Unless, of course, they are engaging in a touch of satire themselves…
…but I doubt it.
July 11, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I have to admit, when I first happened upon your blog and started reading I rolled my eyes because, for a split second, I thought you were serious. But it took me…oh, about two sentences before I realized it was a satirical piece. I thought it was hilarious, and I’m a Trad.
Thanks for the laugh!
July 11, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Thanks Colleen
I think many commenters never got past the first two sentences before commenting. Thanks for sticking with it.
July 16, 2007 at 3:17 am
This completely cracked me up when I read it – just before SP was published. However, I thought you exagerated a bit. But having seen the reactions of the press in recent days, I see you nailed absolutely every point. Although it almost seems impossible, some of the real articles are even worse. You sure called it.
July 24, 2007 at 3:52 pm
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
July 24, 2007 at 4:02 pm
David,
I have deleted your comment because of your foul language. However, please be advised that you are not paying attention. This blog is very much in favor of the motu proprio and this ‘satire’ was lampooning the pathetic media coverage. Thanks for reacting before thinking and spewing foul language. Very Christian.
July 25, 2007 at 5:13 am
Patrick,
I scincerely apologise for the language.
I appreciate satire; I just didn’t find this particularly funny; no accounting for tastes, I suppose.
In any event, I repeat my apologies, and promise it won’t happen again; we Aussies can be famous for language that would make a sailor blush!
September 9, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Excellent website. Good work. Very useful. I will bookmark!
October 1, 2007 at 5:16 am
It is unfortunate that the intellect of some cannot grasp the parody and satire in what you’ve written. Even more unfortunate is the fact that certain individuals would go so far as to rudely insult you and bash your talent through anonymous comments. We can take heart, however, in the fact that these cowardly curmudgeons have only succeeded in appearing foolish and grouchy.
Patrick, your humorous tone is much appreciated and the strong reproof beneath even moreso. You’ve written a very good piece here. Unfortunately, I’m afraid it’s not comfortably different from the stories some of the more-read news publications actually ran after the release of the Motu Proprio.
Still, while certain things are looking up, it’s still depressing to see how many vehemently oppose the Tridentine Mass. This is why we need humor like yours every now and then to lighten things up a bit. Keep up the good work!
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