The new law in Australia which makes it a crime to annoy or inconvenience Roman Catholics during a visit by Pope Benedict XVI to Sydney, is completely wrong, likely unconstitutional, and silly.
However, I’d like to see it passed here in America. Now. Before I get annoyed.
The regulations in Australia give authorities powers to order anyone to stop any behaviour that “causes annoyance or inconvenience” to Catholics participating in a World Youth Day event.
This is a law that I think should be expanded to everywhere and anytime. I could think of a few people out there in the blogosphere I’d like to see at least picked up by authorities and “questioned” Gitmo style, if you know what I mean. You know who you are.
So let the word go out from this time and place, the following items are now illegal by virtue of the fact that they annoy this Roman Catholic.
Barack Obama kind of annoys me. Remember, he called me “bitter.” Lock him up.
Abortionists definitely annoy me. Throw away the key.
Congress. They annoy everybody.
Sandy Duncan. Still upset over that whole Valerie / Hogan family debacle.
That guy who takes up two parking spaces at Church. (I don’t know his name, but I’d know him if I saw him!)
This guy! – ’nuff said.
Preachy vegetarians who eat chicken. (Like chickens are just vegetables with legs.) They can go to one of those country club prisons but where they only serve Spam®.
All the people who, right in front of my five children, ask if all those kids are mine and then add to me, “Hey, you know what causes that, right?” Put them in solitary confinement and make them watch on perpetual loop Cheaper by the Dozen – the Steve Martin version!
Let’s start with that list and then get back to me. If you don’t, I may get annoyed. And trust me, you wouldn’t like me when I’m annoyed. Feel free to add on.
July 3, 2008 at 2:27 am
I don’t think anyone can top the Sandy Duncan one. I’m still laughing my butt off.
July 3, 2008 at 2:35 am
“All the people who, right in front of my five children, ask if all those kids are mine and then add to me, ‘Hey, you know what causes that, right?'”
Wow, I used to say stuff like that all the time, but now only to small families. With yours I’d say something like, “What, only five???”
Is that annoying enough too?
July 3, 2008 at 3:04 am
Hand-holding during the Our Father.
Stop it! Stop it now! Take your grubby hand away from me! If I wanted to hold your hand…you’d be really cute, okay?
— Mack
July 3, 2008 at 3:41 am
Receiving the Eucharist and chewing it before swallowing. Hey, thats Jesus not JuicyFruit!
July 3, 2008 at 12:07 pm
“As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list–I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed–who never would be missed!”
— The Mikado
July 3, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Cantors who sing off key. Or better yet, cantors, period. Unless they are of the Gregorian chant variety.
July 4, 2008 at 3:17 am
Liturgical puppet operators.
July 4, 2008 at 4:45 am
Marty Haugen
David Haas
Andrew Greeley
Michael Pfleger
Catholics for a Free Choice
Dignity USA
womynpriests
I got more if you got time. 🙂
July 4, 2008 at 5:56 am
Yes – all cantors! Especially those that feel the need to cantor from the pulpit. Worse still? The ones who “perform” what we are supposed to repeat and than when it is time for us to repeat it raise their hand in a signal to “follow them”. Yea, they annoy me.
OVERLAY STOLE WEARERS – you annoy the living tar out of me. You are going away. Cardinal Arinze? You get diplomatic immunity being a Prince of the Church, but you have been put on notice!
People who refer to themselves as “mommy” or “daddy” when talking about a dog or a cat. My dogs sleep in the bed with me (all five) but the day I call myself their “daddy”, I beg you gentle bloggers, lock me up, throw the key away, and don’t tell anyone where I am.
Folks who – without medical reason such as recent cataract surgery – leave their sunglasses on indoors… people who are rude to waitstaff… and white liberal arts educated kids who suffer “quarter life crises” at the age of 25? Don’t worry about being incarcerated… My plan for you is to have you all flown three miles off the coast, dropped from the plane, and be given the chance to swim home. I think that is fair.
July 4, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Do they at least get parachutes, life raft, provisions?
Or how about swimming lessons?
July 5, 2008 at 9:11 am
Liberal Catholics, you annoy me too, thou shalt walk the plank
Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Scientologists, thou shalt be sent to planet pluto.
non-habited nuns, thout annoy me to the sharks!
July 5, 2008 at 10:15 pm
All the lies about Catholics.
I wish someone would write a book with all the lies with the name of the liars. Put references for the truth. Make people look them up for themselves. Most liars are too lazy.
Call it: Lucifer’s wonderful friends.
July 8, 2008 at 4:50 am
People who takes notes during my homily and fill out a check list during the Eucharistic prayer.