Barack Obama, who infamously said he sees babies as punishments, is now, I guess, facing his first national emergency due to what could become a mega-nationwide punishment caused by…himself.
Newsweek is saying that many people got a little…excited…about Obama’s election and therefore…uhm you know. However, Newsweek is inappropriately jumping the gun and calling it a possible “Barack Obama Baby boom.” CMR, in deference to the President-elect and his minions, is calling it the “Barack Obama blob-of-tissue-that-could-one-day-possibly-become-a-baby-if-the-mother-so-chooses-boom.”
Who’s Newsweek to call them babies? So patriarchal! Isn’t that up to the women and not up to a news magazine which tries to force its viewpoint on these poor women. Sheesh!
Here’s the story:
The theory is almost too perfect to be true. Barack Obama, the son of politically progressive parents, was born Aug. 4, 1961—almost nine months to the day after John F. Kennedy was elected to the White House. Is it possible Obama was conceived on that historic night?
And if so, could history repeat itself? In the hours and days since Obama’s victory, many of his exhilarated supporters have been, shall we say, in the mood for love. And though it’s too soon to know for sure, experts aren’t ruling out the possibility of an Obama baby boom—the kind of blip in the national birth rate that often follows a seismic event, whether it’s scary (a terrorist attack) or celebratory (the end of World War II). “The mood of the country and the optimism about leadership is always somewhat related to birth rates,” says Dr. Manny Alvarez, chief of reproductive science at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. “I’m gearing up for a healthy increase.”
Hope and euphoria, says University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz, are a serious aphrodisiac. And voters under 30 went for Obama by a margin of 2 to 1. When you combine those two elements—randy people of child-bearing age—the likely result is what the online Urban Dictionary has already dubbed “Obama Babies” : children “conceived after Obama was proclaimed President, by way of celebratory sex.” “If the amount of alcohol, happy people and major functions on election night is any indication, I suspect we’ll indeed see a boom,” says 25-year-old Brandon Mendelson, a graduate student in Albany, N.Y., who says he changed his vote at the last minute because “I wanted to be able to tell our future children that we voted for Obama.”
Never mind how creepy it is that a reporter is sitting around imagining Obama’s conception. Just think of the irony of the most pro-death President behind hailed as the inspiration for a baby boom (possibly just months before he signs the Freedom of Choice Act.)
The important thing is we have before us the first consequence of the Obama presidency could eventually be (if the mother so chooses) thousands of little CO2 spouting punishments. An auspicious beginning to a newly minted Camelot, dontcha think?
H/T Kristen
November 17, 2008 at 3:37 am
The theory is almost too perfect to be true. Barack Obama, the son of politically progressive parents, was born Aug. 4, 1961—almost nine months to the day after John F. Kennedy was elected to the White House. Is it possible Obama was conceived on that historic night?
I just threw up a little, in my mouth.
I dunno Matthew, it looks to me like fodder for Planned Parenthood’s next TV commercial. Considering the group under discussion, a spike in abortion rates seems the likely result to me.
November 17, 2008 at 3:55 am
Seems some Newsweek reporter has too much time on their hands.
November 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Seems some Newsweek reporter has too much time on their hands.
I think that a certain Newsweek reporter got lucky on Nov 4.
Seriously, though, with the proliferation of contraception and with the GLBT community supporting him, any carnal carnivals aren’t bound to result in all that many babies.
November 17, 2008 at 4:02 pm
A baby boom? Please. Maybe a pregnancy boom. Or, rather, a “oops, there’s a clump of cells in there” boom. Followed immediately by a mass fieldtrip to Planned Parenthood.
Sheesh.
November 17, 2008 at 5:29 pm
As a devout Catholic who voted for Obama I don’t see how mocking Obama and having fun with abortion is going to bring this country together. You social cons claim to care so much about abortion and only abortion and then you make jokes about it? Makes me think you don’t really care about it but are only using it to advance your politics which matters to you more than your religion. Sorry. That’s the way I see it. Oh wait a second. That’s how 55 percent of Catholics see it. You guys are in the minority.
November 17, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Anonymous said…
As a devout Catholic who voted for Obama ….
Now that’s funny right there, you bet.
November 17, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Anonymous — you are a moron — oops I mean oxymoron. Oh what the heck — lets go with the first one.
-Angela
November 17, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Unaborted fetuses, Malia Ann & Natasha Obama should be appalled at Newsweek for their audacity.
November 17, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Anonymous said…
You social cons claim to care so much about abortion and only abortion…
Nothing could be further from the truth. I care about the same social issues that you care about. But I find it laughable to think God would bless us in any effort to address the needs of the poor while we actively support the slaughter of millions of innocent and utterly defenseless children. And make no mistake, a vote is active support no matter how you slice it.
Mr. Obama has promised to make the signing of FOCA one of his first official acts. Knowing that, how in the world could I possible cast a vote for him? I couldn’t; but, many Catholics did. They convinced themselves that they could somehow vote for the good without becoming culpable for the bad. I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way.
No matter how you slice it, a vote for Barack Obama was a vote for abortion. You may be against abortion. You may even believe the idiots who are telling us that more liberal abortion laws will result in fewer abortions; but, the fact remains. Barack Obama looked you in the eye and promised to open the floodgates as fast as possibly and you voted for him anyway.
55 percent of American Catholics voted for Mr. Obama. 55 percent of Catholics were wrong. More and more priests and bishops are coming forward every day with that message.
As for the jokes, maybe they are in bad taste. I think they are partly in reaction to the fear and horror many of us are feeling right now. It’s human to sometimes make light when things are dark. What else can we do now except, of course to pray. God help us.
November 18, 2008 at 1:17 am
I think they are partly in reaction to the fear and horror many of us are feeling right now. It’s human to sometimes make light when things are dark.
Amen. It was dark humor that helped concentration camps prisoners survive.
The jokes aren’t about the procedure itself ,they are aimed at knuckleheads who rob an unborn child of their personhood in a most horrible process and insist its something this country NEEDS.
May God have mercy us. We can’t claim ignorance this time.The man made it plain as day what he intends to do.
CBS
November 18, 2008 at 2:06 am
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