As was reported last year, Pope Benedict has asked that the placement of the Sign of Peace be reviewed perhaps placing it earlier where it will be less disruptive to the preparation of the faithful for communion.

Cardinal Arinze, Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship, brought the topic up again in an interview with L’Osservatore Romano on Friday. Pope Benedict has asked the Bishops for their thoughts and then he will make a decision.

Since the topic is still open for discussion and on the off chance that any Bishop would stumble across our humble site, I offer my suggestions for where they can stick the sign of peace.

  • Ten minutes before mass.
  • (Kiss of peace) Right before you tell your brother Fredo that you know it was him.
  • Ten minutes after mass.
  • Since those who foisted this on us always make the point that this was an ancient practice, I say we do it it right after we find and slaughter an unblemished red heifer.
  • On Good Friday right after the ol’ school prayer for the Jews.
  • Let’s not and say we did.

However, if we are going to keep it, why not make it more relevant, you know, for the kids.

  • Chest bump of peace
  • Slap on the butt of peace. The altar boys could … um … never mind on this one.
  • The jive handshake of peace.

Actually, my preference is that the SOP is moved to before the offertory and is changed into the barely perceptible nod of peace. That way, at weekday mass, I will no longer have to sit in a pew with a minimum 5 empty pews between me and another human to insure that nobody gets any funny ideas. At five pews distance, you typically get the nod or the muted wave of peace. That is more like it. However, if somebody looks overly friendly, I increase the minimum safe distance to 8 pews and try to sit in their blind spot or behind a column if available. No sense taking chances.

Ideally, would should return to the even more ancient and venerable practice of leave me alone.