[Dateline London – One Year from Now] The U.S. Administration of Barack Obama is reportedly reeling over the potential impact of a number of mysterious vanishings by high profile business people and entrepreneurs.
The disappearances began four weeks ago when noted conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh ominously closed his radio show with the phrase, “Who is John Galt?” Since that day, the whereabouts of Mr. Limbaugh have been unknown even to his closest colleagues and friends.
His perplexing disappearance follows on the heels of months of criticism of the radio talker by the Obama administration over Limbaugh’s outspoken concerns of the Financial Bailout, the automotive bailouts, the airline bailout, TARP I, II, III, and IV, and the institution of the Radio Equality and Airtime Parity Act (sometimes referred to as the fairness doctrine).
Several days after Limbaugh was reported missing, it was learned that Mr. Limbaugh had liquidated most of his assets and sold his residence along with most of its furnishings. Almost everything not liquid was left behind with the notable exception of his multiple sets of golf clubs and his state of the art humidor.
The Obama administration initially saw Mr. Limbaugh’s disappearance as a victory and touted it as evidence that he could not compete in a “fair” radio environment. But that initial euphoria turned to concern after a series of embarrassing incidents with signs containing the phrase “Who is John Galt?” marring public appearances by the president. This was followed by so called “Galt Graffiti” appearing on public institutions all over the country, and most striking, even the White House itself.
In the weeks following Limbaugh’s disappearance, dozens of key business executives, business owners, and entrepreneurs have mysteriously vanished in similar ways, with assets liquidated and businesses closed. Each of them leaving behind only a note that reads simply “Who is John Galt?”
While it is not being widely reported in the U.S., sources reveal that key members of the administration are gravely concerned with these developments. One high ranking administration official speaking on the condition of anonymity told us “Who is supposed to run all the businesses left leaderless? We are overwhelmed. Tax revenues are plummeting and we don’t know what to do. Perhaps, we went to far with our plans. Maybe we should have left these people alone.”
While it has been reportedly right-of-center men and women who have disappeared, the Republican leadership in Congress is baffled by the disappearances with one high ranking Republican saying, “We don’t know where these people have gone, but rest assured that the House and Senate Republican leadership will continue to work with the President on the serious issues facing our country. Fortunately, none of us in the leadership has disappeared.”
In the absence of Mr. Limbaugh, the listening audience of radio on the AM band has rapidly dwindled. The FCC quickly stepped in and replaced Limbaugh with the more moderate voice of David Brooks. Despite the quick reaction of the FCC, it is estimated that more than 70% of the former afternoon talk radio audience has simply stopped listening. Ad revenues have almost completely dried up and some speculate that unless there is a government bailout the up until recently thriving industry of talk radio may be dead.
Beyond just the disappearance of key business owners and entrepreneurs, economists and financial experts are equally troubled by the growing trend dubbed “shrugging” in which highly compensated key business producers do only the minimum required. Tom Galvan was ranked top in sales in his industry for four years running, but that has changed this year. Galvan says, “Normally I would work 70+ hours a week to land those key accounts. But the government takes so much of what I make beyond modest base salary I figure, why should I bother? So I shrugged.”
So far, President Obama has been silent on the vanishings, however he did call an emergency Cabinet meeting on Thursday. He is rumored to be considering the nationalization of many industries in response to the crisis as well as another “rescue package” for those companies impacted by the vanishings.
Also rumored to be under consideration is an executive order freezing the assets of anyone worth more than $1 million as well as restricting travel on those who reported an adjusted gross income of more than $250k on their 2008 tax returns. A source close to the President assured that if enacted, these executive orders would merely be temporary and in no way compromise the liberties most Americans hold dear.
At present it is unknown if Rush Limbaugh is in any way responsible for the other vanishings or if he was simply the first to disappear. What is known is that if Limbaugh and the other business leaders do not return soon, even more Government intervention will be needed.
March 9, 2009 at 1:07 am
Awesome. LOL.
March 9, 2009 at 1:34 am
This may be closer to the truth than many people think!
March 9, 2009 at 1:46 am
Limbaugh = Galt = Keyser Söze
March 9, 2009 at 2:37 am
Rush was once a fresh, vigorous, much-needed voice. Now he has become a parody of himself, Roderick Spode rather than Winston Churchill. So sad.
March 9, 2009 at 3:27 am
Mack
Respectfully, I don’t agree and I think it rather misses the point of the post.
March 9, 2009 at 4:30 am
Patrick,
I get the point of the post, that this might finally be the time for a real rebellion of the productive class. But I’ve got to agree with Mack. Rush is less than useless. He never was part of the productive class, and certainly is not now.
March 9, 2009 at 6:44 am
*laughs* Very well written!
March 9, 2009 at 10:28 am
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March 9, 2009 at 10:55 am
The "productive class"? Does he have to be a welder or farmer??? I'm not in the productive class either, I guess, although I'm trying to teach my kids how to use reason, logic, intellect, compassion, etc. Kinda like Rush, eh? (& I'm starting to get obese, too)
March 9, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Whoah! Patrick? Really??
I am sincerely dissapointed.
March 9, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Dude, We ridicule ideas here. Not people. You can’t call people fat and expect it to stay up.
March 9, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Patrick,
No it doesn’t. You’re only picking on me ’cause I’m fat. Sniff. I’m going to sic the Canadian Human Rights Commission on you. Sniff. Or make you run laps around Rush.
March 9, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Matthew – if someone is clearly fat, it is an observation, not ridicule. And you have ridiculed MANY people here (Obama, Mahoney, Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Obama) NOT simply their “ideas”. If you are saying that making comments about someone’s physical appearance, specifically when they are clearly guilty of the sin of glutton, is off limits on your blog, then that’s just fine. I will not do that again.
I would like to reiterate that Rush is a liar, a Protestant, a critic of the Holy Father, OUR blessed Pope Benedict (May God bless him and grant him 100 years!), a “former” drug-addict, and a convict. Once again, your fascination and support for these types of characters really does astound me. Why not start gravitating towards Michelle Malkin and/or Laura Ingraham instead? Both are Catholic, conservative and much easier on the eyes.
March 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm
POPE: My visit this morning to Ground Zero will remain firmly etched in my memory, as I continue to pray for the souls who died and for all who suffered in consequence of the tragedy that occurred there in 2001. For all the people of America and indeed throughout the world, I pray that the future will bring increased fraternity and solidarity as well as a mutual respect and a renewed trust and confidence in God, our Heavenly Father. With these words, I take my leave. I ask you to remember me in your prayers and I assure you of my affection and friendship in the Lord. May God bless America! (wild cheers and applause)
RUSH: (laughing) Is that not great? That is just great. Did you hear that applause erupt? Here’s somebody… I mean, “God bless America” is said by rote all the time by people. It is interpreted as by rote, just perfunctory. When he says it, you know he means it. It sounds special.
Such painful mockery.
Not sure our Holy Father can stand it– after all, with the various news networks running shows calling him a Nazi, the folks murdering their babies, the pending use of tiny babies for lab animals on the American dime– I’m sure the above disrespect just burns into B16’s soul.
March 9, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Rush Limbaugh is a much better friend to the Catholic Church than most social and political figures. I don’t understand why so many Catholics demonize him. It’s almost like there aren’t more obvious targets out there.
March 9, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I agree with Foxfier and Eileen. I’ve listened to Rush on and off since 1988 and if anything, he appears to be getting closer and closer to the Catholic Church (much like President Bush (just couldn’t write former there)). His use of logic is a joy to behold…
March 9, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Way back in one of his two books (I forget which) Rush wrote (paraphrasing) – ” ‘Your standards are out of date… you’ve got to get with the times, Catholic Church.’
“And the Church rightly responds: ‘We ARE the standard. We are not going to redefine right and wrong so you can all feel better about your sin.’ “
March 9, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Nightfly:
Don’t you love the way some people appeal to the Catholic Church (and other churches, for that matter): You’ve got to bend with the times. You’ve got to change Church doctrine, so that what we’re doing isn’t defined as sin anymore…
And the Church rightly responds: “We are the standard. We are not going to water down our teachings, our beliefs, or our doctrine so that you can feel better about your sin.”
Rush Limbaugh
Chapter 8, “Dan Quayle Is Right or Our Poverty of Values”
See, I Told You So
http://countmazz.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/rush-limbaugh-quotes/
March 9, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Not sure our Holy Father can stand it– after all, with the various news networks running shows calling him a Nazi, the folks murdering their babies, the pending use of tiny babies for lab animals on the American dime
this is the same brainless logic which liberals use to make their points. “Well…at least he’s not as bad as (fill in the blank)!” Try acting like a grown-up. Rush specifically criticized the Pope’s comments on several occasions due to the Pope’s comments regarding the danger’s of Capitalism during his DC visit. So, while you may put Rush in front of the Holy Father, I do not.
Everyone is of course free to follow and idealize anyone they wish. My standards are just higher.
March 9, 2009 at 5:57 pm
The Day Barry was elected, I ordered a bumper sticker reading, “Who is John Galt?”