If you’re reading this you are The Resistance.
I’m planning a late night coup. Are you in? The object: To take over the press office at The Vatican. We move under cover of darkness, we tie up anyone even remotely affiliated with the press office, and duct tape them to their typewriters. Tonight, we start anew.
If there’s one thing bloggers know, it’s self promotion. The folks at the press office in the Vatican aren’t able to even promote “blissful eternity with God” effectively.
Seriously, what is wrong with the Vatican press folks? Who thought it would be a great idea to announce that Pope Benedict was never in the Hitler Youth…IN ISRAEL!!!!
If they wanted to get their story out there, this should’ve gone out months ago. Not when the Pope is in Israel.
The Vatican Press Office essentially put “Hitler Youth” in the lede of every news report. Not that the media needed any excuse to do it but this certainly doesn’t help as you can see from the Hitler Youth-O-Meter which has now tracked over 1,500 references to “Hitler Youth” in stories about the Pope’s trip to Israel.Did they not see the whole “Hitler Youth” angle coming beforehand? If not, they should be reading CMR.
OK. First we have to get over to Rome. Uhm. I’m a little short on funds right now…anyone got a plane?
We’re going to need a lot of pens, paper, fax paper (not the flimsy kind that gets all stuck in the fax), paper clips, and crayons (because I have to bring my kids because my wife is working late tonight). Oh, and we need walkie talkies so we can call each other cool code names.
I think we can write off all expenses because it’s like a donation to the Church. Kinda’.
Who’s with me?
May 13, 2009 at 4:13 am
Count me in but in the spirit of full disclosure have to admit to taking a few journalism classes in high school back in the ’60’s. Does that disqualify me?
May 13, 2009 at 4:55 am
Matthew, you know how much I love watching you work, but I have my wedding anniversary to plan, my brother’s birthday party to arrange, my avatar in Halo to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I’m swamped.
However, since I can’t join you, may I suggest that you take up my offer of a wheelbarrow and a holocaust cloak. I’m sure you can rig a way to crash into the Vatican Press Office crying, “I am the Dread Creative Minority Report. My men are here, I am here. But soon, you will not be here.”
May 13, 2009 at 8:24 am
Count me in. Wait, oops, I don’t have a passport.
May 13, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I’m totally in, especially after reading this headline on an anti-catholic blog: “Vatican Spokesman Lies in Claiming Pope Was Never In Hitler Youth”
I know the world is supposed to hate the church, but do they really need to give them so much ammo? I’ll bring boxes of binder clips and some highlighters.
May 13, 2009 at 3:55 pm
This is the absolute best string of blog comments ever. I’ll color with the kids, and I’ll bring Steve (skojec)…he’s a pretty big guy I’m sure he could help with the swiss guards 😉
May 13, 2009 at 4:23 pm
We’re in!
My husband doesn’t have a PR background or anything, but he’s watched a lot of action movies. I’m sure that will come in handy with the Swiss Guards.
I’ve got 4 boys to bring as well. So, we may need more than crayons. I’m thinking SNACKS! Lots of snacks! They are the way to a boy’s heart as well…
I agree with an above commenter, it seems easy to commandeer Obama’s plane without him knowing, so we’ve got that going for us.
May 13, 2009 at 5:36 pm
But what about the COUT’s?
Catholics Of Unusual Theology? I don’t think they exist.
*WHUMP*
May 13, 2009 at 6:50 pm
nightfly,
You’re killing me! COUTs are hilarious.
May 14, 2009 at 12:56 am
Right-o. What about duct tape?
Nobody brought duct tape? How can you have a raid without duct tape?
Oh, and some Skittles … not to eat, but to mark the escape route.
May 14, 2009 at 9:45 pm
I’m in. I’m a journalist, I speak Italian and I did read the Pope’s books, which father Lombardi probably didn’t, otherwise he’d have remembered the Hitler Youth quotes from Milestones and Salt of the Earth.