Just hours after the Government takeover, GM announces new models.
GMC ANWR
Requires oil but has no place to put it.
GM FannieMae
Works fine when going up hill but falls apart when going down hill.
GM Barney Frank
Conversely only works when going down.
GMC Bailout
Won’t get you more than a few miles but a gov’t tow truck will pick you up and send the bill to your rich neighbor.
GM Pelosi
Crazy looking headlights that distort everything you see.
GM Stimulus
Actually this is not a new model. They just took your neighbors car and gave it to you.
GM Healthcare Allows for no customization and you have to wait two years to get it. When it finally arrives, it doesn’t work. (Produced in Canada & UK and imported into the US)
And a special bonus as per CEO Obama’s mandate all GM vehicles will now be equipped with a standard feature that in the event a foreign car cuts you off and almost kills you and you hit the horn, your car automatically apologizes to the foreign car.
Enjoy The Ride!
June 1, 2009 at 7:39 pm
This looks like a Smart4two… I have friends who have one and are quite happy with it. It has more room than one might suppose.
And it’s quite economic to run too!
Elise B.
June 1, 2009 at 7:42 pm
clever
June 1, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Hilarious! Though I thought that the Barney Frank joke was in very bad taste, if it means what I think it means. The rest of them were great.
June 1, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Is making fun of homosexuals unCatholic? Or is that one for which we can make exceptions?
CCC:
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.
June 1, 2009 at 9:03 pm
One problem, Elise B., is that I wonder if GM or any car manufacturer for that matter, will be able to manufacture cars big enough to carry around a family with more than 1.2 children.
Where’s the Smart4eight?
June 1, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Anon,
Unjust Discrimination should be avoided. Agreed.
Making fun of Barney is neither discrimination or unjust.
June 1, 2009 at 9:29 pm
You guys are hilarious!
June 1, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Patrick,
Nice parsing! Went right to the words in the CCC you could demonstrate compliance with and skipped right over the “respect, compassion and sensitivity” part.
Not to mention your joke is a violation of the call to modesty and purity.
You remind me of the old saw: “Accuse a Jesuit of murdering three men and a dog and he will triumphantly produce the dog.”
Just make sure you keep pointing out which parts of the Catechism are optional.
June 1, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Funny….maybe we should just think up another Barney Frank reference…maybe a little “pork” related… 🙂
Love the variety of “models”.
June 1, 2009 at 10:15 pm
How about
Barney Frank.
Sees nothing regarding the “safety and soundness” of this vehicle as and issue.
It serves us badly to raise the issue of “safety and soundness” as a kind of a general shibboleth when it seems to not be an issue
June 1, 2009 at 10:37 pm
lol
June 1, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Hey Patrick – I love your blog.
But, I agree with some of the other posters about the Barney comment. It’s over the line, and does not treat our same-sex attracted brothers and sisters with the compassion they merit.
Damien
June 2, 2009 at 12:58 am
OK … here's another "product description" for the GM Barney Frank:
"Only works at peak efficiency while lying through its grille about his role in encouraging Fannie & Freddie to make mortgage loans to people who couldn't afford them and leading to the the worldwide financial crisis"!
June 2, 2009 at 1:58 am
Guess I'm buying Ford from now on…
June 2, 2009 at 2:28 am
Hypersensitive people should simply avoid all comedy. Heck, avoid everything, because no matter what is said, someone will find a way to be offended and upset.
June 2, 2009 at 2:45 am
Patrick started it with his hyperventilating about Tiller and his killer. I thought he was going to faint from defending the world from thoughtless comments!
June 2, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I bet the GM Barney Frank is a stick shift…
June 2, 2009 at 3:38 pm
As a citizen of the PR of MA, Patrick, I give you permission to make all the fun of Rep. Frank that you can. Sadly, I doubt he’s think the refernce inappropriate himself.
June 2, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Hypersensitive people should simply avoid all comedy.
I enjoy comedy all the time, and am only rarely offended. But I expect different standards for comedy on a Catholic blog.
June 2, 2009 at 4:19 pm
CMR – Lowering expectations since 2007!