The recent murder by James Von Brunn is putting the national focus on one fringe discriminatory organization that has operated in the shadows way too long.
Just as one lone nutjob seemingly discredited the entire pro-life movement recently, so too does Von Brunn’s connection with Mensa tar all smart people.
Mensa is a secretive group that discriminates against 98 percent of the people as their only requirement for membership is that one scores at or above the 98th percentile on standardized IQ tests.
Von Brunn’s attachment with Mensa leads many to believe that the group is out of control even though there’s been no reported violence from other Mensa members in recent memory.
One Mensa member who asked to remain anonymous said, “It’s not our fault. This was one person acting alone. It’s not like all smart people want all you “little brains” dead. Oh that’s what we call you behind your back.”
The Department of Homeland Security quickly issued a report saying that although this seems to be a random act of violence by one man, it could be indicative of the whole organizations and is now adding “nerds” to the list to be closely monitored by Homeland Security.
DHS said smart people have attacked before. This is not an isolated incident. Ted Kaczynski, who was reportedly a genius but who lived in filth and got caught, killed people as well.
President Obama attempted to soothe the tension with a statement, “However profound our differences as Americans over difficult issues such as intelligence, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence.”
But the Department of Justice said they believe that because one person with ties to Mensa committed a murder on a non-Mensa member, it’s advisable to offer federal protection to all non-members of Mensa who request it.
Some organizations including bowling leagues have asked the federal government to ensure that smart people aren’t allowed within fifty feet of bowling alleys. The federal government is going to look into such regulations. “Us morons need protection,” said one blogger and bowling aficionado Patrick Archbold. “Oh and I like hot dogs.”
One can expect the media to exhaust themselves with stories on Von Brunn’s connection to the fringe organization in coming days.
June 11, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Yeah, I'm just waiting to see my husband on the news. He's pro-life AND a member of Mensa. So tragic..
June 11, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Awesome in every way.
June 11, 2009 at 8:11 pm
I don't get it. Does that mean I qualify for protection?
June 11, 2009 at 8:26 pm
May God bless and grant Stephen Tyrone Johns eternal rest and peace.
June 11, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Statistically, middle-aged white men should be banned from carrying guns.
June 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm
"Little brains?" Did you get that from the 1991 movie Defending Your Life?
June 11, 2009 at 8:41 pm
One of my favorite movies of all time, Catholic Audio. Good catch.
June 11, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Amazing! You should write for the onion =p
June 11, 2009 at 10:03 pm
this is so great….to my latina understanding…mensa means a not so bright woman.
June 11, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I think mtmom is probably right. More often than not her experiences would lead her to a better conclusion than the rest of us.
June 12, 2009 at 1:10 am
This isn't funny.
June 12, 2009 at 4:06 am
Brian, I agree. An innocent guard was killed in the line of duty and all this "catholic" blog has to offer is a joke about his killer?
Lord have mercy.
June 12, 2009 at 4:13 am
If you think this was joke about the killer, it is certain you don't belong to Mensa
June 12, 2009 at 5:33 am
Kyrie Eleyson. Miserere utrorumque, Deus Domine
June 15, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Von Brunn was a member of Mensa for a few months, never paid his dues, was dropped.
The "information" about his "membership" in Mensa came from his OWN website.
If you believe him, have your OWN IQ tested.
He was lying.
Mensa does not discriminate. It's not secretive. It has a website and everything. Non-members are welcome to most events.
Stop being silly, and stop being jealous.
June 18, 2009 at 4:02 pm
How ironic that "Mensa Man" completely and totally misses the joke…
June 25, 2009 at 1:25 pm
silly christina, I was replying to the folk who took the piece seriously. I certainly did not.
Somebody's got a problem seeing a tongue planted in a cheek, and it ain't me.
Have you seen the "densa" members out there who are now calling Mensa a "racist group"–pardon me, a "raciest group," which is untrue on several levels?
Come on, pal, get a sense of humor. Come out of your ivory toadstool and lighten up!
😉