The most popular men’s lifestyle website had an article this week giving instructions to men that offered advice to men on how to get a woman to procure an abortion even if she doesn’t want one.
The article in AskMen.com called Dealing with an Unwanted Pregnancy starts with:
An unplanned and unwanted pregnancy can dramatically affect an otherwise loving long-term relationship. Some men rejoice, but others simply aren’t ready to be fathers. If they discussed the possibility and specifics at the start of the relationship, he may hope she’s going to stick to the original plan and terminate the pregnancy. And she might — but for some women, getting pregnant can start clocks ticking and make them suddenly want to be mothers, despite previous agreements.
In either case, the final decision is hers, which means she has ultimate say in whether or not you become a father. This can put tremendous stress on a relationship, particularly if don’t want to have a child, but don’t want to lose the girl, either. While you can’t force her to do your bidding, you can get her to consider your wants and desires if you approach her correctly. After all, your life could be drastically altered by her decision, which certainly entitles you to speak your mind — you just need to take care with the presentation. Read on for tips on dealing with an unwanted pregnancy.
It’s written by a woman as some insider-type guide to coercing your woman to get an abortion. But all the tips are guided towards avoiding the pitfalls that might make the woman actually carry the baby to term. It talks about keeping the woman calm and using the word “we” instead of “I” but only as tools to obtain the objective which is a dead baby.
Here’s some of the lowlights:
You’ll also want to take care with your word choice; pregnant women tend to feel like they’re carrying someone, as opposed to something, even if she is just a month or so pregnant. You can’t just talk about having an abortion the same way you’d talk about having a cavity filled. Sensitivity is key. Toss words like “it” around too many times, and she’s going to start feeling like she needs to defend “it” from you.
This gem is so caring:
She needs your emotional support or she could wind up feeling isolated to the point of despair — and women in despair rarely make rational decisions
And this lovely sentiment:
If you’ve followed all of these steps and your woman decides to have the baby anyway, this does not mean you’re required to get married or move in together. You’ll probably want to provide for your child regardless, but if you’ve been clear about your intentions from the start, you are not obligated to contribute beyond what your conscience and the law expects of you. This was her decision, not yours, and the bulk of the responsibility is now hers.
Prenatal pros: Take a moment to spell this out for her when she gives you the final decision; it may just sway her over to your side.
Yes, in that last sentence the female author of the piece is promoting threatening women with abandonment unless they have an abortion.
So not only do we dehumanize the babies but also their mothers. The only thing that matters, I guess, is what “I” want when “I” want it. All others are obstacles or aids that either help or hinder the all important immediate happiness of “I.”
HT Jill Stanek
July 7, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Doesn't surprise me one bit. Almost every woman I've known who has had an abortion has done it under the pressure from her lover, especially with threats of break-ups or financial cut-off.
What DID surprise me about this piece is the obvious "relationship as business transaction" tone:
"…if you’ve been clear about your intentions from the start, you are not obligated to contribute…"
"If they discussed the possibility and specifics at the start of the relationship, he may hope she’s going to stick to the original plan…"
Yeah, because you had a gentleman's agreement to kill your kids.
-MissJean
July 8, 2009 at 1:16 pm
"It's always coercion and not choice?" Certainly evil man is at fault?
Let's review ancient history on this view.
God: Why did you do it Adam?
Adam: It was that woman you made for me God.(You did it God, I'm innocent)
If you abort; you're to blame and will be held to account for the destruction of an innocent life. Don't recreate man's original excuse by blaming others for your behavior.
July 8, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Links are dead. Not exactly dead, but link back to the homepage. Even if you search "unwanted pregnancy," all the links that show this article take you back to the front page. What are they hiding? What are they afraid of? Another disgusting article down the memory hole.
July 9, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Askmen.com has taken the article down off their site –
The complete txt of the article can be found here if you want to read the whole thing
http://www.cirtl.org/pdfs/dealing_with_an_unwanted_pregnancy.pdf
Here are 3 more articles on the subject of abortion and coercion
http://centralillinoisrighttolife.blogspot.com/2009/07/delicate-art-of-manipulation.html
http://centralillinoisrighttolife.blogspot.com/2009/06/defining-terms-in-abortion-debate.html
http://centralillinoisrighttolife.blogspot.com/2009/06/more-on-choice-vs-coercion.html
It seems clear to me that there is a vital weakness at this point in the battlements of the pro abortion camp – we should all be working to breach it –
July 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Does it not appear that when it comes to abortion, the women involved in it are given the benefit of the doubt as to their culpability in the matter, but if a man is involved, all judgment falls immediately on him as to his culpability. Why not offer the man as much understanding as the woman?
One commenter, "Don L," uses the occasion of a woman writing this "Askmen.com" article to accuse men of recreating Adam's excuse for his sin. Surely Adam was wrong to blame Eve, and a man blaming a woman for his fault happens still today (God knows it happens often the other way around also). It still happens today, but it did not happen here. As the article was written by a woman, it should prove that she is not speaking from her own experience of being a man who is trying to convince his girlfriend to abort their child. Yet "Don L" writes as though this is the case, accusing a straw man of shifting the blame.
Another commenter, Susan Peterson, admits she has trouble asking God's mercy for men who would do such things. I do not fault her for this, but don't understand why she then goes on to label them as "cads and lower than cads." Is she quite certain that the mercy for which she has trouble requesting on behalf of these men, is a lock for herself?
Why is the charity and understanding that we offer to women dealing with a difficult pregnancy not also offered to men? How are we so certain of a man's culpability in any given situation, but suspend judgment on a woman in her situation?
April 20, 2010 at 12:37 pm
What is really irresponsible is a woman having a baby when both parents are not ready. It is then the baby who suffers most. Ever think that the reason there are so many bad parents out there is because they had a baby when they weren't ready? Perhaps a man does not want to be in a relationship with a woman who makes bad decisions and isn't ending it as a threat. The absolutist comments on here are laughable. As if all women who have had abortions are coerced. If you want to talk about coercion, lets talk about the outrageous lies given to women about the dangers of abortion given in Christian pregnancy centres. If I'm not mistaken, lying to millions of women is a sin.
May 10, 2010 at 10:39 am
This is the correct advise and is similar to what I used to convince my grilfrind to terminate the unwanted pregnancy. We both are in professional school, even classmates. All was great untill her period was late and she started having backaches. She took the test and was positive. Looking back, all of this nomsense could have been avoided if we took planB or morning after. Nevertheless, I was in a unique situation: this person had told some close friends (the prolife type) about the pregnancy, thus I was dealing with a counter force which required me to act quickly and persuasively. In relation to the advice above, I always made sure to stress and focus on "our" relationship and future. I put greater weight on looking forward and evaluated our current situation as a great and powerful experience that can only make our relationship stronger. Also,, when I stressed the future, I made sure to inlcude the prospect of children along with the means to give them everything. So bottom line: focus one the relationship and developing to relationship to created a solid foundation and eventually bring a child into it. Don't let her be sucked into her friends, because they do not have a stake in this situation, nor will they be there for her in raising a baby. Although this advise may not seem "righ," it will save you from not getting stuck in some rat race and skrewing up your mission. Doing the "right" thing is not always the smart thing. Always remember, while she may have the choice of keeping the pregnancy, you still retain the choice of marriage. Good luck to all no matter what choice.