Yes, it is true. I hate flip flops. You know how they say that no one is born knowing how to hate, you learn it. It is true. I wasn’t born hating flip flops. In fact when, as a child, I first saw flip flops I thought they were kind of cool. But then again, back then you would only occasionally see flip flops. You would likely see them during July-August and then only at pool parties or the beach.
Back then flip flops were like ABBA music. Perfectly acceptable and even fun, in very limited doses.
But today, today, flip flops are everywhere! All the time. It is like syrupy Swedish pop on a never ending loop. Flip flops, from March to October, at baseball games, the movies, the super market, school, to meet the President (see right), and even Church! Yes, it is that last one that really gets to me. No, not just kids. Grown men and women wearing flip flops to Church! Now I know, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, the important thing is that people are there. Fine. But I don’t like it.
I am working on a thesis that the percentage of flip flop wearers in public (beach and pool activities excluded) is directly related to the death of a culture (admittedly it is not fully developed yet). I am not saying that flip flops cause the death of culture, but I am not ruling it out. Suffice it to say, for now, that flip flops are a leading indicator of the unseriousness of a people. These are very troubling times. These are times that require work boots for men and at the very least a sensible pair of flats for women. Troubling times require serious shoes on serious people. No, shoes that boldly proclaim ‘I’m a Toys ‘R Us Kid’ are just not gonna cut it. Who has ever done anything important while wearing flip flops?
George Washington – definitely a boot guy! Lincoln – Well I am not really sure what kind of shoes Lincoln wore but they were very serious and besides he had a hat. Jimmy Buffet – Ok. That isn’t really a good example. But you get the point. Why even FDR and Churchill wore wingtips!
Don’t get me wrong. I understand casual. Casual is good, in its place. Hey, I have been known to walk around my house barefoot from time to time. I am no prude. But that is my house, it is my private area. I don’t force my feet on other people.
I fully realize that the war on this front may be lost already. Why even in my own family, my wife and kids routinely wear flip flops in public. The world is overrun with Jimmy Buffet wannabees. But not me. I, like Jesus, am a sandals guy. I have dignity.
Have I told you about my theory about clogs and the fall of the Roman Empire?
August 13, 2009 at 6:35 pm
A billboard advertising a nearby non-denominational church reads "flip-flops welcome".
August 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm
In many poorer countries thongs (that's what I call them; I guess "flip-flops" are an east coast thing) are the only type of footwear available. In the really poor places, they are made from pieces of cut-up tires. In these places it would be perfectly acceptible to wear whatever is available too church. But not in the US.
August 13, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Better cover those toes specially if you're a kid. The priest might have a foot fetish and rim your tire.
August 13, 2009 at 7:14 pm
The flip-flops aren't distracting me in the picture, but it looks as though G.W.B. is using crutches. I had to get a closer look so I could see OOOHHHHHHH, those are lax sticks. Long live flippity flops!!!
August 13, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Oh my, Patrick, you must never EVER come to Hawaii. It would drive you clear out of your mind. We live on Kauai, where flip flops (aka 'slippers') are the norm – EVERYWHERE. And, they are to be removed before you enter anyone's house. The outside of each household is one pile of slippers. The attire for mass here is a whole other issue. Many opt for the formal aloha wear but many more do not. It is an "eye opener" to say the least.
August 13, 2009 at 7:52 pm
I'm with Carol. I never liked the dern things (wore them rarely in summer in MD) until I came to HI (where feet sweat horrendously in shoes – which I will suffer at Mass). At Mass folks wear aloha wear (formal or tee's). No one looks unkepmt, though, and well . . . I enjoy my slippah's on O'ahu.
August 13, 2009 at 7:53 pm
In several Oriental rites, it is not allowed to wear shoes of any kind once you enter the sanctuary of the church. So, since you have to leave your shoes at the door anyway a lot of people wear flip-flops since they are easy on/off.
August 13, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Forgive me, all! I wore flip-flops to Mass for about a month.
I broke my toe. I couldn't wear anything but flip-flops with the toe "buddy-taped" to the one next to it. My regular shoes didn't fit right and hurt.
Am I forgiven? 🙂
August 13, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Red,
It is not for me to judge. Quick question though, do you like warm climates? I mean like really warm climates? No reason, just asking.
August 13, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Now, are you against women wearing thongs with wedges? Now before you kick me off for being graphic, you have to know that's a technical term for those strappy high heeled patent leather flip flops that many women wear with dresses in the summer. Are those acceptable? I was told not to wear them when cantoring or lectoring because as you move on and off the ambo (sp?) they make way too much noise. But for the everyday common church goer is this just wrong???
August 13, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Patrick, I live in Texas. 'Nuff said.
Or we could add the quote attributed to Philip Henry Sheridan: "“If I owned Hell and Texas I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.”
🙂
August 13, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Ok, I do try not to look at what folks wear to Mass, I really do. But how do I tune out the flapping noise flip flops make as folks make their way up the communion line? Flip-flops are for the beach or the pool, at least in our family.
As an aside, my daughter's piano teacher HATES flip-flops and always has a word or two to say about them if my daughter wears them to her lessons 🙂
Anon 11:18 needs to lighten up a bit. This is CMR's blog, for goodness sake, and I believe Patrick was only expressing his opinion, not demanding conformity.
There's my two cents.
August 13, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Mau,
One point. I am demanding conformity even though I have no ability to enforce it.
August 13, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Patty,
Oh, isn't that always the way the devil works? Today its "thongs with wedges" (I am uncomfortable even writing that) but tomorrow its flip flops and bikinis. I don't even want to think about what comes after that!
No no. Any distant relative of the flip flop, no matter how seemingly benign, should be banned. No sense taking chances.
August 13, 2009 at 9:57 pm
A few points:
One of my neighbors, and elderly, frail woman, was vacuuming her carpet while wearing flip-flops. She tripped and fell, breaking her hip and arm.
Our Deacon wears western boots at Mass, but he always wears western boots. (Yes, I am in Texas.)
As to flip-flops and dress in general at Mass, it comes down to respect and dignity. We are supposed to be devout in the presence of the Eucharist. It seems that calls for the best we can do under the prevailing circumstances. If flip-flops are all you can afford to own, so be it. Otherwise, ….
August 13, 2009 at 10:21 pm
One weekend a while back I realized at the last minute that due to my planned schedule the only way to attend Mass was to slip into a Saturday Afternoon Mass.
So… I attended Mass in an "Imperial" Beer T-shirt. I was hoping to just huddle in the back, but it turns out Saturday Mass is HUGELY popular at my Parish, so I ended up close to the front.
It's the only time I've ever wanted to use the "Sign of Peace" to explain myself.
August 14, 2009 at 12:52 am
Patrick,
It's your blog, demand away. My guess is flip flop wearin' folks won't conform.
August 14, 2009 at 1:07 am
Mau,
I can't even get my own family to conform!
August 14, 2009 at 1:24 am
Shower shoes. *geep* I hated those things in the shower, and wouldn't wear them volintarily.
Of course, I don't care for "girl shoes" either, but that's more of a survival thing– I'm the only person I know who's fallen off of 1/2 inch dress heels. Boots rule. (especially since you can run in them!)
Main reason to avoid flipflops/thongs/shower shoes: they don't stop snake bites even as much as a tennis shoe.
August 14, 2009 at 1:50 am
I guess you can't spell scandal without sandal, or flippity-floppity without flip-flop.
I didn't actually realize flip-flop sandals were that big of a distraction or an insult. I wear them too much in the summer I guess, to work, to church, and even to go play sand volleyball.
After running 12 miles every morning I don't feel like putting on real shoes. Plus my feet are disgusting (due to the heavy training), so I guess if anyone should be told not to wear sandals it'd be me. And now I'm beginning to realize why friends don't like to stand near me. Thanks for pointing this out, I will try to reform my flippity-floppity wearing ways.