Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and many other Democrats aren’t wasting a moment before politicizing the death of Ted Kennedy to further their legislation.
Hey, they even politicized the man’s funeral.
ABC is reporting that Pelosi said, “Ted Kennedy’s dream of quality health care for all Americans will be made real this year because of his leadership and his inspiration.”
Now, as Catholics we are quite familiar with the issue of raising the dead but I’m pretty sure that this is not what Jesus intended.
But CMR loves the idea of exploiting recent deaths and we’re suggesting that both parties continue this ugly tradition. Hey, if it works, it works. So let’s put our noggin’s together to come up with ways that both sides of the aisle can further their agendas on the backs of recently dead notables.
CMR would like to start the brainstorming by suggesting the “Michael Jackson Child Protection Act” which should be scheduled to be introduced by the GOP ASAP. Yeah, you might say this one’s a little below the belt but nobody can convince me that Corey Feldman didn’t sleep a little better after Jackson’s death.
GOP Line: Nobody knew better than Michael Jackson that children are susceptible to danger from predators and we’d like to do what Michael Jackson couldn’t do in his lifetime and that’s protect children by placing stiffer penalties on those convicted of being child predators. We must continue Jackson’s avowed legacy of protecting children.
The GOP could all even wear one shiny glove on the day the bill comes up for a vote. Just imagine Trent Lott walking around the halls of Congress with a sparkly glove. Priceless. And you’d get the pleasure of seeing Lott lead one of his apology parades on BET that did him so much good last time after he was criticized by the media.
And when Democrats vote against the Jackson bill the GOP could run ads saying something like “When Democrats voted against the Jackson bill it was almost like Michael Jackson was killed all over again.” Maybe a teary eyed Corey Feldman or Macaulay Culkin could star in the ad as I’m pretty sure they’re not really doing all that much right now anyway.
But the Dems aren’t going to end their use of the dead with Ted Kennedy. After some initial successes using Kennedy’s death to further their political agenda, Dems could introduce the Fairness Doctrine in an effort to silence conservative criticism forever.
But some infighting among Democrats may hamper their efforts as they may be undecided as to whether to call it “The Don Hewitt Fairness Doctrine” or the “Walter Cronkite Fairness Doctrine.” One Democrat insider said the problems with them are that nobody knows who the one is and nobody cares about the other.
But it must be admitted that both were quite familiar with biased reporting.
The GOP could introduce a counter proposal to make journalism better called “The Robert Novak Journalism Bill.” One possible snafu that might worry GOP consultants is Novak’s nickname was “The Prince of Darkness” which could potentially backfire against Republicans.
The GOP could also push their own Kennedy bill called the “Eunice Shriver Kennedy Pro-Life” bill which would urge Democrats to reconsider the legalization of killing babies. But Democrats will likely ignore the “Eunice” bill much like they did Eunice except when she was donating money to them.
So if you have any thoughts on others who have passed whose name or image can still be mined for political exploitation please let CMR know. The CMR Lobbying firm will then put the screws to the legislators to enact your agenda.
August 31, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Kennedy's party will leave no crisis to waste – even if it is the death of one of their own. It reminds me of the techniques used by communists; anything goes for the cause. There is no respect even for the dead.
The letter to the pope is even suspicious because it sounds very much like an advertisement begging for the Papal endorsement. And positive response from the Pope will be taken out of context to support Obama's healthcare bill – one that is rejected and opposed by the bishops' conference. I wonder if the party made him write it since he is nearing death already – might as well capitalize on it and turn him into a martyr.
August 31, 2009 at 3:44 pm
LOVE THIS!!!!
August 31, 2009 at 3:52 pm
WELLSTONE
WELLSTONE
WELLSTONE
August 31, 2009 at 4:37 pm
"Bring out your dead" reminds me of the Monty Python scene which could be amended to "Bring out your almost dead" and show the disabled and aged being thrown on a cart labeled "Health Care Reform" or "End of Life Counseling Cart".
August 31, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Ed McMahon Consumer Mortgage Protection Act.
August 31, 2009 at 5:41 pm
How ironic, the press is now claiming that Macaulay Culkin is the father of Jacksons last child, couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, and I can get real off base once in a while
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2614985/Home-Alone-Macaulay-Culkin-is-dad-of-Blanket.html
August 31, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Bring Out Your Excommunicated!
Instead of putting the (automatically) Excommunicated on a cart (like in the "Holy Grail" movie), they stand up on soap boxes and shout that they're not excommunicated yet (Sen. John Kerry; Sen. Barbara Mikulski; VP Biden). (OK, not so funny.)
Scandal, what's that? Public figures have a higher bar to meet.
August 31, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Re: " they're not excommunicated yet (Sen. John Kerry; Sen. Barbara Mikulski; VP Biden)" sounds more like dead man walking. But in all seriousness, all the Church's teachings indicate that these politicians are technically excommunicated because of their support for abortion laws and policies. The formal excommunication from their bishops is just that – a formality. Those bishops who waived this unpleasant task risk confusing these souls. And when they perish, the bishops will be held accountable for their loss. A swift kick in the pants to wake them up is better than cuddling them into the fiery furnace.
August 31, 2009 at 9:32 pm
"Say no for Mary Jo!" was my Dad's rallying cry last week.
August 31, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I'm thinking after the town hall footage I saw that Claire Macaskill (sp?) could run a "Miss Manners" boutique…Yeah, that'd be cute….
August 31, 2009 at 10:48 pm
She seems more fit for an appearance on Jerry Springer.
September 1, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Matt, I'm not surprised Pelosi/Biden et al heart Ted Kennedy. That's a dog bites man story.
What I am struggling to understand is HOW come in the Catholic CHurch USA 2009, the bishops/cardinals HONOR Kennedy & leave Bishop Martino out on a limb to swing in the wind.
Just makes me wanna cry. As a matter of fact, I have.
September 8, 2009 at 9:11 pm
I like the "Rev. Martin Luther King Citizen's Equality Act" in memory of that late, great champion of civil rights. The act eliminates set asides based on any characteristic other than the content of your character and eliminates affirmative action by federal law.