I love this story. CBS is reporting that a school district in Long Island, New York is urging students to abstain from touching each other due to the dangers of swine flu:

As students across America prepare to head back to school, officials and parents are bracing for a spike in swine flu cases. With the possibility that nearly 2 million people will be hospitalized, and 90,000 people across the county could die, one Long Island school district is taking no chances and has set into place a new “hands-off” approach to fighting the swine flu.

Chest bumps. High fives. Hugs and handshakes. Glen Cove Middle School students Ali Slaughter and Hannah Seltzer say that’s what friends do on the first day of school. But when students in the Nassau community return to school next week, the superintendent will be urging abstinence. Everyone from the tiniest tots to the biggest high school football players will be asked to limit skin-on-skin contact in an attempt to prevent the spread of swine flu when it re-emerges this fall.

“It will [be hard] because you really like your friends and you didn’t get to see them,” Seltzer tells CBS 2.

Abstinence from touching one’s friends? Come on. Give me a break. They’re kids. You can’t stop them from touching each other. It’s just unrealistic to ask them not to touch each other, right? They’re just going to do it anyway.

As studies (not shown here or even available anywhere) have clearly indicated, children are going to touch each other no matter what those in authority tell them, so it’s best to simply protect the children so that they touch each other in the safest manner possible.

Perhaps even full body condoms are the way to go.
So we agree? Let’s keep our kids safe.

Just like teen sex, there are inherent and deadly dangers to touching each other now.
And it seems to me that the danger of children touching each other would be far greater than students falling on top of each other while naked. But in one case school administrators around the country often say abstinence from sex is impossible but then they turn around to say abstaining from any contact is very possible for teens?

Not sure I’m understanding their take on this.

So I say full body condoms should be handed out to all students. Kids are going to touch each other. As adults we just need to protect them from themselves. It’s for the children.