As we’ve all heard President Barack Obama will appear on an unprecedented five Sunday shows as well as others in the coming week in his hard push to sell ObamaCare to the masses.
The move reeks of desperation but one other attempt has many scratching their heads as to Obama’s efforts. It was just announced that Obama will be a very special guest star on “Dora the Explorer” this week. CMR investigators dressed as a pimp and a prostitute and were able to watch a preview of the show and take copious notes. (They didn’t need to dress as a pimp and a prostitute but they’ve got some issues they’re still working out)
These are some excerpts:
Dora y Obama are faced with a very ill Boots, a blue monkey who is a friend of Dora’s, who they need to get to Healthcare City or he’ll be dispatched to “little monkey heaven.”
So Dora y Obama enjoin to set off together to face three obstacles on their way to get the medicine at Healthcare City. Thankfully, they have a trusty backpack with tools and paraphernalia oddly suited for just this type of adventure. And the map inside details that they’ll face three harrowing adventures.
First, the land of giant teabags, then onto The Mountain of the Alaskan Witch Queen, and then the angry screaming troll. A nasty business but not enough to frighten off Obama y Dora. The two sing a song which goes “Come on Vamanos.”
The giant teabags at first appear quite menacing and committed to stopping any healthcare for Boots but Obama y Dora are committed to their quest. Obama reaches into Dora’s backpack and pulls out an old white haired Peanut who bounces about calling all the tea bags racists which seems to dispel them in shame.
Dora y Obama are so delighted with their success that they sing and dance with Dora singing “We did it” and Obama singing in quite beautiful harmony “Si Si Puede!”
The two then follow the path to the cold lands of the Alaskan Witch Queen who spots our heroes approach and sends out her “death panels” to repel them. Obama then reaches into the backpack and pulls out his teleprompter which yells at the Alaskan Witch Queen that she is a “laughable, cynical, and irresponsible” liar.
Dora y Obama seem to think the Alaskan Witch Queen has “stepped down” from the mountain so they skip merrily past. (Oddly, the Alaskan Witch Queen seems still ready for a fight. We may be seeing her again in an upcoming episode)
Dora y Obama are so delighted with their success they sing and dance with Dora singing “We did it” and Obama singing in quite beautiful harmony “Si Si Puede!”
And just as we’re about to move on, the unthinkable happens. An odd greedy fox with some kind of vendetta against Dora rushes in and attempts to steal Obama’s teleprompter. Luckily, the two spot the rather slow moving but committed fox and repel him by instructing him about the rule of “no swiping.”
Obama then instructs the greedy fox that it’s only ok to swipe if your intentions are good and you have patronage jobs to fill which demand salaries. But the fox simply says a disappointed “oh man.” Obama explains to the fox for twenty minutes how he can’t let him go back to his selfish ways and urges him to change. As Obama moralizes, suddenly a voice emerges from under a nearby bridge.
It’s the angry troll we’ve been dreading meeting for the first twenty minutes of the show. And he screams at Obama “You lie.” Obama simply shakes his head and says, “that’s not true.”
Even Dora seems frightened to approach this particular troll even though she faces trolls, witches and alligators on a daily basis. Thinking quickly, Obama reaches into Dora’s backpack and pulls out a pack of dinosaurs wearing shirts with the letters MSM on them.
And like a pack of angry velociraptors they descend upon the angry troll sniping and tearing at him. We leave Wilson battling bravely as the camera follows our hero on the path to Healthcare city. From the looks of things that battle will continue on for months.
Dora y Obama are so delighted with their success they sing and dance with Dora singing “We did it” and Obama singing in quite beautiful harmony “Si Si Puede!”
In the end, Dora y Obama reach their destination at healthcare city but Obama y Dora decide that it’s best for the monkey to die as he would simply be a burden to Dora and her family due to all the medications and therapy it would take to make him better.
Obama chops the monkey up for parts and talks about the need to “spread the health.”
Dora y Obama are so delighted with their success they sing and dance with Dora singing “We did it” and Obama singing in quite beautiful harmony “Si Si Puede!”
Fade out.
It’s expected that Obama’s appearance on Dora will lift her sagging ratings but most expect that the ratings spike will be short lived and go back down shortly.
As for Obama, if this doesn’t get healthcare reform passed, he’s looking into a variety hour show co-hosted by K-Fed. Special guest stars to be named later.
September 17, 2009 at 6:37 am
You showed a picture of a monkey in a post about the President. Racist!
September 17, 2009 at 7:10 am
You mean this Dora?. I think she keeps better company.
September 17, 2009 at 7:50 am
Jay, while I don't believe for a minute that any attack on the president is masked racism, I do believe there is a LOT of it alive and well here in the US. There are some really ignorant/borderline psychotic people who have bubbled to the surface lately (mostly shouting Obama is a Muslim, not a citizen etc). It's almost as if every backward, trailer-trash white person with an axe to grind for their own personal failures has a focus now. And the rise in racially motivated violence against blacks in the US is horrific, by any industrial nation's standards. In other words, I would caution not to be so flippant throwing around the term racism anymore. It is real. Not in this instance, obviously, but it is very real.
September 17, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Anon. is right…look at all the racism espoused by the "rev" Wright, Van Jones, and their ilk! They really need to be more careful.
September 17, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Anon– While I agree that not EVERY attack on the president is racist, there were some really ignorant/borderline psychotic people who constantly compared the president to a chimp, assumed that because he was white he approved death camps and the holocaust, and that he was deliberately trying to kill off 'the black man'……
Basically, a disturbingly large percentage of Americans on BOTH sides of the political spectrum consists of nuts, because the sane people have too much going on at home to get on the news every night. We'd all do better if we ignored the crazies.
**Beginning of racist attack on the president ***
Also, I would like to point out that most people with WASP blood seem to have rather chimp-like ears.
Bush, Obama, and Prince Charles are all easily charicatured as monkeys. Why? Because they're WASPS. Killers of the Irish! Oppressors of the Papist!! Prep-school-Ivy-league-elitists! We can't trust the WASP-man, man! At least GWB and Obama apparently had the advantage of dental care and orthodontia, though……
*End of racist attack**
Seriously, though. Yes, there are some unhinged republicans. There are also unhinged democrats, libertarians and independants. But when you pay attention to the crazies, it just makes them shoot off their mouths more. And trying to quash arguments by complaining that the other side is unhinged smacks of Stalinism…….
September 17, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Was it Matthew or Patrick as the prostitute?
😉
September 17, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Let's see… time after time left-wing liberals pictured President Bush as a monkey, etc. But of course that was all acceptable since left-wing liberal political speech is supposed to be immune from criticism as it is, of course, reflects a left-wing liberal point of view. Now we have a left-wing liberal democrat occupying the white house so the left-wing liberal press suddenly is sensitive to anyone applying that same image to their newly anointed ruler. I wonder how they would respond if (God forbid!!!) the current occupant of the white house had been a Conservative Republican? I wonder if they would have been concerned about "offensive racist images?" Given their past track record, it is a good bet that they would continue their own use of that exact same imagery.
September 17, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Getting back on track: this may be your best parody yet!
September 17, 2009 at 3:07 pm
My kids were watching Dora in the other room when I read this.
Like watching Dora wasn't difficult enough. Now I'll have flashbacks.
September 17, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Great post. As another stay-at-home-father I have watched lots of Dora. It's obvious that you've watched more than your fair share.
September 17, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Matthew, "Come on vamanos" is spelled "vamonos". And "Si si puede" should be "Si SE puede". (I minored in Spanish in college).
September 17, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Finally! A Dora episode I can stomach!
Thanks for the chuckle.
🙂
September 17, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Yeah, but how else is Obama supposed to get his campaign message on health care out to union members unless he tries to get on their prime time???
Hehehee! Just kidding!