You know me. I’m not one to make outlandish accusations but I think Penn State University may be filled with vampires. And not the angsty teen kind like in “Twilight.” But the old school Bella Lugosi freak out at a crucifix kind. I don’t have a lot of scientific data to back up that claim but I’m still sayin’ it.
You want evidence? Ok. As a fairly normal human I want you to look at the shirt below. Just a quick look will do.
OK. You saw it. Are you reeling across the room in pain? Hissing? Turning into a winged rodent? Are you even offended by that shirt?
No? Well some “people” at Penn State University are so offended they’ve sworn not to wear that shirt. They don’t even want it on campus. Why? Because it kinda’ sorta’ almost looks like a cross. It’s not one. But it kinda’ sorta’ almost looks like one.
Look, I’m not telling people at Penn State what to do. I’m just saying that if I were there and someone refused to go near that shirt the first thing I’d be doing is looking for their reflection in a mirror or just super soaking them with holy water.
Fox News reports that:
The shirts — intended to foster school spirit — sport a vertical blue line down the center with the words “Penn State White Out” emblazoned across the chest, forming a design that some say resembles a cross. The back of the shirt depicts the same blue line obscured by the words, “Don’t be intimated … It’s just me and 110,000 of my friends.” Roughly 30,000 of the shirts have been sold.
But alas Penn State says they received six complaints about the shirt. Six! Stop the presses. Burn the shirt!
But all complaints are not created equal. You see, the Anti-Defamation League’s Philadelphia branch, lodged a complaint as well. And now you’ve got a full-blown campus brouhaha.
I love this quote from an offended student in the story:
“At first glance, you don’t necessarily think that’s what it looks like, but when you look at it more, it does look like a cross,” Berns told Foxnews.com. “That’s the reason I didn’t purchase it.”
Translation? She wasn’t offended until someone told her that she was and then she quickly whipped up some huff. So in short, don’t waste the holy water on her. She’s just stupid and easily manipulated.
Showing that Penn State isn’t a barren wasteland of political correctness on parade, one student laughed that pretty soon people will be offended by lower case t’s. And kudos to the Penn State administration for not backing down either.
So in short, Penn State either has vampires on campus or just lots of idiots. Bet on idiots. But just keep a crucifix handy. That’ll tick ’em off either way.
October 30, 2009 at 2:59 am
So I guess this would be a case of separation of Church and Penn State?
October 30, 2009 at 3:03 am
Larry,
Seriously! Wee need to talk. You should be writing for CMR!
October 30, 2009 at 3:23 am
Penn State "White Out"?
Doesn't that have racial overtones too?
(I think the protesters have done one too many "Case Studies" at the Rathskeller…)
October 30, 2009 at 7:25 am
I'll place my money on the idiots.
October 30, 2009 at 7:41 am
Ummm…. I don't know if I am stating the obvious, and maybe some non-football fans dont realize… but its the helmet.
http://rlv.zcache.com/penn_state_helmet_player_shirt-p235348956858006023qwc6_210.jpg
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&rls=en&resnum=0&q=penn%20state%20helmet&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
Seriously… its THE HELMET.
October 30, 2009 at 1:12 pm
No room to quote it all here, but this exact subject is dealt with in Chapter 1 of Chesteron's "The Ball and the Cross." The conclusion?
"You begin by breaking up the Cross, but you end by breaking up the habitable world."
October 30, 2009 at 1:53 pm
This act of stupid post-Christian lunacy is brought to you by the soon-to-be-outlawed letter T.
-Chris M.
October 30, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Chris M: I wonder if Mr. T would have comment?
Corey
October 30, 2009 at 3:10 pm
My first thought was "hmm…looks kinda like a cross," wondered if they were trying to offend Christians by substituting Penn State for Christ and thought that it was a fail if that was the case.
Joe, not being a football fan I laughed when I saw the helmet. You're definately right, that's exactly what it is. I would say that they should be ashamed, but I don't know what my alma mater's helmet looks like either.
October 30, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Oooh, maybe they'll start getting rid of clover-leaf + crossings because they look like Celtic Crosses.
October 30, 2009 at 6:17 pm
"Mile after mile along his homeward path he broke it down and tore it up. For he hated the cross and every paling is a wall of crosses. When he returned to his house he was a literal madman. He sat upon a chair and then started up from it for the cross-bars of the carpentry repeated the intolerable image. He flung himself upon a bed only to remember that this, too, like all workmanlike things, was constructed on the accursed plan. He broke his furniture because it was made of crosses. He burnt his house because it was made of crosses. He was found in the river."
– G.K. Chesterton's "The Ball and the Cross"
October 30, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Well, they may have to replace the helmets too. The conspiracy appears worse than originally suspected.
October 30, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Corey: "I pity the fool."
November 2, 2009 at 3:56 am
Remember how the ice creams at Burger King offended Muslims because of the similarity of the logo to the written name of Allah?
Funny how it's atheists being offended about OUR religious symbol here.
I am having difficulty following who gets to be offended – grievance politics is so confusing.