OK. I’m sending up a flare. This is me asking for help. I’m looking for some good comebacks to the age old questions that people from big families get asked all the time.
Here’s how it started. I brought my five children to the movies, aged ten down to two this past weekend. And the guy standing there taking tickets pointed to the children and asked, “Are these all yours?”
I typically make a joke and say that two of them were hitchhikers I found on the expressway but he didn’t seem like a happy fellow so I simply admitted they were all mine.
“What?! Really?” he said, his eyes widening. “You ever hear of overpopulation, man?”
And there was me. Gobsmacked. And I’m not easily gobsmackable. If I could’ve typed out… Continue Reading @ National Catholic Register
March 23, 2010 at 2:28 pm
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March 23, 2010 at 2:31 pm
My mother (when cranky) used to point to her children, and ask the inquirer with mocking earnestness which particular child, in his opinion, should she have not had. This usually shut them up.
March 23, 2010 at 2:32 pm
I get this question way too often. Here you go.
http://sherryantonettiwrites.blogspot.com/2008/01/50-something-betters.html
March 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm
In response to the oh so clever and orignal 'doncha know what causes that?"
"Sure, and we're rrrrreally good at it!!!!"
or
"Of course, don't you??"
in response to 'aren't you done yet?"
point to the youngest and say "We think of him/her as our middle child." works great when you have 7, 8 or 9 already.
March 23, 2010 at 2:54 pm
writing that last one down Anon…
March 23, 2010 at 3:01 pm
My usually reserved mother who had 6 children in 6 years (and then me 6 years after) once replied to the comment, "You must be Catholic." with, "No, we are S** maniacs."
March 23, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Are they all yours? You do know how that happens, right? You know it's not the Dark Ages anymore – you can do something about that.
I hate ALL of these and we get them no matter where we go. The worst was a few weeks ago when I took all the kids (5) to pick up my husband from his Cursillo weekend. EVERY SINGLE PERSON we were introduced to made one of the above comments.. including the priest. 🙁 So much for 4th day – I'm not so sure I'll be attending my weekend after that.
It's one thing to hear it at the grocery store or the movie theater.. But it's so disheartening to get the same thing in a Catholic gathering.
March 23, 2010 at 3:19 pm
SherryTex, I'm with you. I LOVE that last one from Anonymous. One of the families in my parish is expecting #8, and I'll be sure to pass that one on.
March 23, 2010 at 3:23 pm
When I get the comment "You have your hands full" (which after the 12th time hearing it gets annoying) I just respond "Better full hands than an empty heart."
And I would've looked that guy right in the eye, "Why are you so worried about overpopulation pal? No woman in her right mind would ever want to procreate with you!"
Not very Christian I guess, but it would at least shut him up.
No wait! I got it!! Just look across the movie theater parking lot right after he finishes talking and say, "Oh my gosh! I think I just saw a polar bear floating by on an ice cap!!!" Maybe you could even get the ticket sales guy to give you the ticket that man left in his haste for one of your kids…Hahahah!
March 23, 2010 at 3:31 pm
Wow Matt! I just finished reading the rest of this article on NCR. What a little hethon! I'd boycott that movie theater from now on (besides, I remember reading a few months ago that your kids seem to have just as much fun at the mechanics! Hahahah!)
March 23, 2010 at 3:53 pm
"You know what causes that, right?"
Formal cause, material cause, efficient cause, or final cause?
March 23, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Well, it depends on YOUR attitude at the moment. You could say any of the following:
"Over-papa-whut?" (with a heavy southern drawl)
"My! That's an awefully big word for someone with a 3rd-grade education."
"Absolutely. But I think the world can suffer through another belligerent ticket salesman."
"Sure. Did your mother?"
"yeah…more workey, less talkey. Thatta boy."
"Yes. But like the lone braincell in your head, I simply don't worry about overpopulation."
And if you're feeling particularly Christian:
"Thank you for the tickets. May God bless you."
March 23, 2010 at 4:44 pm
My wife and I have 8 children and she has received comments like that from other women. Here are some of her better replies.
Question: Don't you know what causes that?
Reply: Yea and it's great!
Question: Aren't you worried about overpopulation?
Replay: You're just jealous before you are married to a gelding and I'm married to a stallion!
March 23, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Thanks, all for cheering me up with your comments!
March 23, 2010 at 4:53 pm
A few years ago we were at the Knight of Columbus Supreme convention when Carl Anderson introduced the International Family of the Year. The family was quite large and I believe the father was a doctor. When Mr. Anderson mentioned that among his endless volunteer work, the father taught NFP classes, the room erupted in hoots and laughter and it didn't stop. The Father was embarrassed and Carl Anderson looked livid. I was so upset that I almost walked out.
Too many Catholics just don't get it!
March 23, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Whatta maroon.
What possible difference does it make whose kids they are? Five kids is five kids.
Matt, did you make sure he gave you correct change and the right number of tickets? He don't sound so bright.
March 23, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Alan, writing that second one down too….
March 23, 2010 at 6:05 pm
They will pay your Social Security, and the National Debt.
Sterilization causes idiocy.
Sterile sex causes blindness. (to the truth)
I give the following t shirt to any family that has more than 5 children.
It speaks for itself:
http://www.catholicposters.com/shop/product.php?prodId=684&cat=
March 23, 2010 at 6:07 pm
The number one leading cause of children is sex.
March 23, 2010 at 6:22 pm
LOL elm!!!