Tell the truth. Haven’t you at least momentarily though about popping an overly officious and pushy church usher in the chops? Or maybe pulling his polyester jacket over his head — ya know like NHL style?
Well somebody went and did it.
HILLSBOROUGH — Police responded to Mary, Mother of God Roman Catholic Church on Sunday for a report of a fight in the parking lot between an usher and a parishioner after the usher told the parishioner to stop videotaping during Mass.
Now, of course most ushers are wholly interested in serving the church and do a thankless service week in and week out. I am not talking about them. But there are those other types, you know who I am talking about. The kind of ushers that buzz about the church like bouncers at a KISS concert flashing their poly-blend jackets like a US Marshall service badge — some of whom view usherdom as an excuse to pay no attention to mass. Well I know that I am not the only one who has.
Fr. Jay Toborowsky knows the type. After rightly criticizing the school play Catholics who treat their bi-annual visit as if it is the school production of South Pacific and they will be darned if they don’t get the picture they want, Fr. Jay has this to say about the usheristas.
Now, about Catholic Church ushers. For the most part, your task is about taking up the collection and handing out bulletins, and these are necessary things in the life of a parish. I also know there’s times when you get asked to do the priest’s “dirty work” (telling someone to sit down when all they want to do is stand in the back of church because they want the quick escape after Communion), and for that, I thank you. But, let me also say this: I don’t care what you do or did as a profession, putting on the blazer does not give you superpowers. It does not exempt you from sitting through Mass like everyone else. It doesn’t allow you to stand in the back of church chatting away with fellow ushers whilst Mass is going on. I have visited lots and lots of churches over the course of my years as a Catholic, a Seminarian, a Deacon and a Priest. I think there’s a lot of ushers who are going to be quite shocked when God makes the delineation for them on judgment day between the Masses they “attended” and the Masses they were merely “at”.
Now I certainly do not condone parking lot smackdowns of the overbearing, but perhaps there should be term limits.
May 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm
See more scandal, dialogue is not about revealing the sins of others, its about looking at ourselves first. Stop thinking about your need to gossip, start thinking about what you are portraying, that of course is if you are not here to destroy the image of the church in the first place.
May 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Yep, that's the whole reason we're here. To make the Church look bad, grind it to nothing, and hear the laments of the nuns…..
May 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm
In my parish in Queens, NY, as well as many surrounding parishes, the ushers definitely wear blazers. Sometimes I wish that they would get more involved in maintaining order, but this post makes me realize that might be a bad idea! We have had some bad situations in the past (First Communion parents and step parents actually tussling on the front steps of the church!). Maybe we should ask some of the little old European mamas who belong to the parish to enforce the rules…. no exposed bellies, etc. and no cell phone calls or texting during Mass…and absolutely no gum chewing! Now they might be a force to be reckoned with.
May 27, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Foxfier, formerly Sailorette:
LOL!
Lankester clearly does not work in a police station. How would that discussion of crime take place?
No disrespect intended here, but a discussion of an event such as this is not gossip in any way shape or form. When you gossip – among other things, you are doing if for no good reason. Whilst here we have a perfectly GOOD discussion of different ways that ushering can and should be handled in a parish.
Plus some of it is funny. Not all funny is bad – IS IT?!
May 28, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Heh, that's my sister's parish. We'll be going there for Memorial Day weekend. I'll ask her about it.
As for the ushers, treat them with respect. They've had to chase down people who are walking out with communion in their hands, they take thier ministry (yes *ministry*) seriously.
Oh, and Anonymous, if you'd like to volunteer as an usher at your parish, *I'll* buy your suit.
May 28, 2010 at 5:59 pm
I showed this column and the comments to my pastor and he said, "Gossip". That's good enough for me.
May 30, 2010 at 12:05 am
So you showed your pastor this post and the comments for no reason other than to feel superior to us, eh, Lankester?