I’ve worked in public relations so I know some of the rules. You know who breaks all of them? Pope Benedict XVI. I’ve got to imagine that Pope Benedict’s PR man would be pretty frustrated with him about now if he had one.
I’d imagine his message to the Pope would be something like this:
“Benny baby how’s it goin’? Fantabulous. Great great great. But I gotta’ tell you I’m getting a little concerned that you’re veering a wee bit from my recommended plan. You did get the plan, right? I gave it to one of the cardinals to forward to you. I’ll have to get his name from my assistant but he was a little old Italian cardinal with a red hat. So you can probably find him based on that.
Anyway, let’s talk Turkey. You do the whole holy thing and that’s cool but I’m a p.r. man. I know p.r. I read recently that you apologized for the sex abuse scandal. AGAIN. Benny Benny baby you’ve apologized for that already. A lot. I know you’re really into the whole “confession” thing but keep it in the little box, you know what I mean. Asking people to forgive is like swimming in the shark tank in a chum flavored bathing suit. It’s gonna’ end bloody.
Here’s the deal – when scandal hits, you apologize once and then refuse to talk about it ever again. Please simply refer all questions after that to me and I’ll just refer them back to your original apology. That’s how p.r. is handled baby.
June 29, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Great piece! The only advice that could be added here would be this: He should have (or still could) have a complete WEEK of public penance. Then never, EVER talk about it again.
You see, the issue with P.R. is that sometimes one presumes that they have an audience or that the story is picked up. In the case of The Pope, the media has ignored MANY of the apologies he has given. So to the public, it may seem as though he hasn't done enough.
Solution: a public week long EVENT of penance like the word has never seen and that can not be ignored. How about having it in Washington, DC on the Mall or in Dublin or Brussels – take your pick.
Imagine millions of the faithful there walking on their knees (a la Manila) in prayer with Mass and week-long adoration!
This would serve 2 purposes:
1. It would be so huge the media would have no choice but to cover it and the world would know.
2. As a part of the mystical body of Christ, this would give millions of Catholics the world over a chance to pray as one for the forgiveness of the sins of those in the Church.
Just a thought…
June 29, 2010 at 3:31 pm
I agree. They need to handle PR professionally in the Vatican because what they do affects billions of Catholics. With regards the pope, I guess he really feels for the victims that he has the need to take on himself the sins of every impure cleric. And, he has cast off that model of the Church that can do no wrong, to don the sack cloth of admitting the Church’s sinfulness. For him, it is better to err of the side of excess when it comes to contrition. This must be a reaction to the hypocritical denial of those cardinals and bishops during the abuses. From the worldly standpoint, it is a flaw. But perhaps, that is the light that is shown him and one that he faithfully follows.
June 29, 2010 at 4:44 pm
That was absolutely hilarious. "Asking people to forgive is like swimming in the shark tank in a chum flavored bathing suit." Still laughing.
Love it, thanks for the much needed laugh!!