Five working class men from third world countries have been dragged off the streets of England which they’d been hired to clean and thrown into holding cells on suspicion of allegedly plotting to harm a former member of the infamous Hitler Youth organization.
Pope Benedict XVI, a former Hitler Youth, is the leader of an organization which is one of the only ones that legally continue to harshly discriminate against women. Benedict, who is not expected to draw very large crowds, may allegedly have been the target of these five men of unknown background or religious affiliation.
Pope Benedict, who mysteriously changed his name sometime in the last decade from Josef Ratzinger, has angered many groups with his pronouncements against the peaceful religion of Islam as well as his inflammatory statements against women. Pope Benedict XVI (aka Ratzinger) is most well known for his leadership of a group formerly known as “The Inquisition” which is believed to be responsible for the deaths of thousands if not millions of Europeans some years ago. Benedict is also regarded suspiciously for his infamous coverup of the Roman Catholic Church’s sex abuse scandal which had many in Europe including such luminaries as Christopher Hitchens pleading for his arrest before more children could be hurt.
Thousands of protests were expected to shout down the Pontiff on his visit to Britain but reportedly less than a hundred protestors showed up causing some to believe that the protestors feared retaliation from those who support the Pope or perhaps even Benedict himself,a former Hitler Youth.
The five working class immigrants arrested earlier today may be victims of anti-immigrant fervor in England. In fact, anti-immigrant fervor escalated to such a fever pitch that youths were forced to protest in the streets of France recently.
Coverage will continue.
Note: In case you think this satire is over the top just know that there have been 117 references to Hitler Youth in news stories about the Pope recently. There have been only 43 references to “Muslim terrorist” in stories referring to Pope Benedict.
September 17, 2010 at 9:49 pm
Careful! Soon using "Muslim" and "Terrorist" in the same phrase will be outlawed ~ just like yelling "fire!" in a crowded theater…
September 17, 2010 at 10:21 pm
You know that old saying about life imitating art? Well, here's the flip side, art imitating life! ScotJu
September 17, 2010 at 11:05 pm
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who wouldn't even think this is satirical!
September 18, 2010 at 3:50 am
Why can't stupidity hurt?
September 18, 2010 at 4:35 am
Heh, the radio news only mentioned that they were "all foreign born" at the very end– up to that point, they were talking like five MacGregors had been arrested on suspicion of considering possibly violent protest…..
September 18, 2010 at 6:57 am
Coffee Catholic: That day may be sooner than you think. Can't remember the Supreme Court judge's name but he was 1 that ruled burning the flag was protected by the 1st amendment. He recently opined that burning the Quran was like yelling fire in a theater.
September 18, 2010 at 11:50 am
After reading your satire I think you could get a job working for the NY Times. ;0)
September 19, 2010 at 12:53 am
Why do you keep referring to the Pope as a Hitler Youth? That is not true! Yes, maybe he molested a few kids and covered up the molestation of other youths, but HE IS NOT HITLER YOUTH! period! Get your facts straight, please. And just because the Church look down at women, doesn't mean they discriminate against women. The Church only does what the bible teaches.
September 19, 2010 at 2:31 am
Matthew,
I hope you apply for Bill Donahues job when he retires… Catholics will need somone like you to fill the vacuum.
September 20, 2010 at 4:50 am
Hey Troll-ette, formerly who cares, you really aren't fooling anyone. You're just making yourself look pathetic here.
September 20, 2010 at 8:09 pm
I gather y'all are all 'Mercans and all, but could we say "one of the few" instead of "one of the only"?