In what will surely become one of the most infamous comments ever made about abortion, Rep. Gwen Moore of Wisconsin said yesterday that it is better to have an abortion than make a child be forced to live “eating Ramen noodles” and “mayonnaise sandwiches.”
So the CMR Institute for Advanced Suicidal Studies is now endorsing a plan for the government to poison all stocks of Ramen noodles so that the poor souls eating Ramen Noodles will find a merciful and quick end to their miserable existence.
CMR is calling this new form of euthanasia via noodles “THE EUTHANOODLE.” (Patent pending)
The way CMR and Gwen Moore see it is we’re doing them a favor because they don’t even realize that their lives aren’t worth living. The poor dears are so ignorant and clearly don’t make enough money that we can even hand out Ramen noodles for free to people who look like Ramen noodle people, if you know what I mean. That way we can feel good about ourselves for our charity and they can feel…dead.
Hopefully CMR’s endorsement of the euthanoodle will encourage others to have Ramen Noodle Parties where they’d invite the people they suspect of being miserable or living lives not worth living. Or if someone you know sometimes struggles at the end of a paycheck to feed their children, make it a EUTHANOODLE night.
Remember, they’re better off dead than eating oriental pasta.
Come on America, let’s EUTHANOODLE our way back to prosperity by ridding ourselves of anyone who might go hungry.
February 19, 2011 at 2:27 am
Simply an observation, but can we take note some of our favorite 'comfort foods' are really cheap eats.
Here is a list from home cooking.
• Chicken Pot Pie
• Chicken Soup
• Chili
• Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Corn on the Cob
• Fried Chicken
• Gelatin
• Green Bean Casserole
• Hot Dogs
• Ice Cream
• Macaroni & Cheese
• Mashed Potatoes
• Meatloaf
• Potato Salad
• Pumpkin Pie
• Shepherd's Pie
• Spaghetti
• Tomato Soup
• Tuna Casserole
February 19, 2011 at 3:51 pm
@Renee: Miracle Whip and sliced beet sandwiches are the best and I though tomato sandwiches with mayonaise were the best and remember the pinto beans. Ramen noodles have a bit much additives…read the ingredients. The convenience is spectacular. However, American noodle makers have caught up with pre-cooked noodles. Buy American
February 21, 2011 at 9:45 pm
As one who has the great misfortune to be represented by the repulsive Welfare Mama-turned-Congressman, Gwen Moore, I can tell you that idiotic remarks trip off her tongue with boring regularity, so it was no surprise to me to read what she said. An ignoramus generally doesn't feel the need to think too deeply on things.
One who responded, Mr Anthony Lane, suggests that if we could but let the public know the things she says she would be defeated in the next election. I'm very much afraid that that is an exercise in wishful thinking. It has long been said – especially about the district she covers – that if Satan himself ran in that district he would be elected as long as he ran as a Democrat. That is the safest of safe Democratic seats and even a trained ape running as a Democrat could get elected there.
Come to think of it, I believe that's what happened.
February 21, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Raman noodle is darn good stuff. At work, we had a Taiwanese intern ewho introduced us to "gourmet" ramen, the stuff they sell at the Asian grocery store. It's much better. More expensive at about 50-75cents a pack, and you have to guess at the flavor by reading the ingredients list. Throw in some chopped veggies and an egg, and it's pretty nutritious. And you can still get lunch for under $1.
February 22, 2011 at 4:10 am
I love Ramen noodles and I'm a wealthy person who doesn't pay taxes.