Starting May 22nd, I am so getting a dirt bike and maybe a tattoo. Oh, on second thought maybe I will just beat up Duran Duran or the cast of Glee. Oh, there might be a few neighbors whose bushes die an unexplained death 😉
I can do whatever I want that day and all 150 days that remain after that. I am doomed to hell anyway because the gates of heaven are going to be shut May 21, 2011. A whopping five months before the end of the world on October 21, 2011.
Team Camping is still sticking to their prediction that they have figured out that end of the world is this October with the gates of heaven putting up the no vacancy sign starting May 21.
This group says God will destroy Earth by fire this October. But they say the real end is coming next month when – according to this group – the doors to redemption will be shut.
“May 21 is when God shuts the door to salvation and that’s the beginning of gods wrath,” said Johnny Dennis. He spends most of his free time pouring over the Bible. In studying the word so closely, he says he and others have been able to calculate the world’s end.
“On October 21, the “Feast of Tabernacles, is when God destroys this world by fire,” he said.
How exactly does it work if you are saved? Do you get a ticket on the rapture express or do you have to hang around for five months with all the rabble?
I have mixed feelings about these folks. One the one hand they choose believe in the hair-brained algorithm of a civil engineer turned doomsday prophet. Harold Camping, you may remember unsuccessfully predicted (as far as we can tell) the end in ’94 on to have ’95 come anyway. But this time, he has the formula down!
The number 5, Camping concluded, equals “atonement.” Ten is “completeness.” Seventeen means “heaven.” Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011.
“Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.,” he began. “Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that’s 1,978 years.”
Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days – the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.
Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.
Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.
Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.
On the other hand, some of these people are sincere yet profoundly deluded on the fact that anyone can know the date and hour since God has expressly said otherwise.
Anyway, on the off chance that Camping has it right and starting May 22 I am beyond redemption, I am totally getting that dirt bike because it is so much cooler than a moped. Way cooler. I bet they don’t have dirt bikes in heaven anyway. Mopeds maybe, but not dirt bikes.
April 19, 2011 at 9:25 am
Mr Camping apparently spends "most of his free time pouring over the Bible" … pouring what exactly? Maple syrup? Honey? Somebody at KTSM news needs an editor!
April 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm
If he spends most of his free time 'pouring over the Bible,' does his Bible not have Matthew 24:36? Oh, I get it, he was given knowledge that even the angels do not know! OK. I guess that settles it. [Sarcasm]
April 19, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I'm with you on this. Come May 22…if I'm still around….I'm gettin' a tramp stamp and my belly button pierced.
April 19, 2011 at 4:20 pm
(5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = Crazy
Only the Great Pumpkin awards sincerity.
April 19, 2011 at 8:56 pm
It's that last leap that makes the least sense (as though any of it made sense): "(Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared."
Why wouldn't he predict it cubed? Then you'd have the Trinity represented, too.
These poor people think they can be their own Pope AND their own university. Nobody who ever took a single philosophy or logic course would be able to support the mental path he took to reach that date.
April 19, 2011 at 9:09 pm
I always hated math. This bull-hockey solidifies that hatred!
April 19, 2011 at 10:45 pm
Hmmm. Never trust a guy with two first names.
April 20, 2011 at 4:43 am
Camping gets two things wrong. First, "But of that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, [nor the Son,] but the Father alone." – Matthew 24:36, NAB. (The phrase enclosed in brackets is not always seen in all Bible translations and manuscripts.) Is Camping trying to claim that he was given knowledge not shared to the angels of heaven, or that he is the Father, since he apparently "knows" the day (but suspiciously, not the hour)? Second, so far the most accurate date for the death of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is April 3, 33 A.D., not April 1. He needs to get his facts straight.
April 23, 2011 at 6:23 am
These lunatics have a billboard up a few blocks from my house with their predictions.