For the past five years, it has been my tradition to watch The Passion of The Christ on Good Friday. The film is exceptionally well done and moves me to tears every time I watch it.
It serves to remind me, in a way that almost nothing else can, how much my Lord suffered for me. For my sins. For my redemption. Oh how He suffered, for me.
My two oldest children are 11 and going on 10 years old. I am seriously considering asking them to try and watch it with me. I want them to understand the last supper, the agony in the garden, and the crucifixion in a way that they never have before.
This film did this for me. It moved me to pity and …
April 21, 2011 at 5:53 am
You'll have to go off your knowledge of your children.
When I was that age, it would've just horrified me– even now, I have trouble thinking about it.
I already understood what it meant; the graphic visualization is actually a distraction from what I need to focus on– the horror blots out anything else. I get the shudders from praying the ROSARY when it gets to the part about … witnessed by His Mother.
I don't know your kids.
That said, unless you are UTTERLY sure– and your wife is in agreement– just do a very solid stations of the cross.
At ten, this film would've made me sick, probably every time I saw a crucifix.
April 21, 2011 at 5:55 am
Just because something is important, and true, doesn't mean that it must be seen.
You might try talking with your kids to see if the understand what those quick words about scourging and such mean.
April 21, 2011 at 6:06 am
I agree with foxfier…my oldest is 11- she'll watch Jesus of Nazareth…there's plenty of time for The Passion
April 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm
At ten and eleven their minds aren't ready. Parents often think they "know" their children and place them higher along in development than they are capable of being. Let them get into to early teens at least. Those young minds aren't ready for the abstract concepts you are hoping to share.
April 21, 2011 at 1:53 pm
I think most 10 and 11 year olds are too young, especially if they haven't been calloused by violent movies and games already. My son saw it as a Freshman in HS and was ok, still looking away during parts. We had Ascension Press's guide which we then used to talk about some of his questions. My daughter, who is now 17, still hasn't seen the movie but has read through the guide to the movie twice and gotten a lot out of it. I can't make myself force her to watch the movie, it is beyond her sensitivities. I would just caution you that looking back I realize how often I considered my children older than they were, because they weren't as young as they used to be. Now I realize that at 10/11 they were still quite young and pretty innocent. It is possible to do more harm than good with this.
April 21, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Great comments above. One more thought, and a question:
Great faith existed before we had movies.
Is there a danger for some kids that the Crucifixion will be turned into just another movie?
I have nothing against the film at all. But I fear that for some kids (and adults) movies are more real than reality.
April 21, 2011 at 3:01 pm
For some years, I watched The Passion every Good Friday. Last year, I made the deliberate decision not to watch it. Writing of the hyper-realistic style of some Spanish crucifixes, C. S. Lewis once observed that, at some point, the sheer physical horror of what you were seeing outweighed any other, more measured or devotional reactions.
I think that there is little question that we need to know what happened and how with regard to the Crucifixion–that this knowledge takes us away from the "tamed" depictions of so much Christian art with which we are perhaps a little too familiar to respond to appropriately.
April 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Much too much. It is better for children to first create their own mind's imagery. Once that is set, and they are older, then another view is okay. But this movie is so over the top in spots that it really runs the risk of diminishing other truths about The Passion that would otherwise be missing.
Also, I have seen the face of the Devil (literally, shockingly – appeared to me with hideous laughter on the early morning of 9/11. before the attacks happened – I told him to go back to Hell, called on Jesus and Mary and he was gone immediately) anyway it was a quite scary and terrifically ugly creature, to put it very mildly. (I think he was trying to scare me, so I guess that was the point – although I don't dwell on it.) But something about the portrayal of this figure of evil in the movie bothers me. Evil can certainly appear as beautiful as well, but to me, The Passion was less about evil and more about the triumph of Our Lord Jesus! I don't even want to see a hint of this thing in the movie – the results of the evil are so clear. So I would be worried that part in the movie could be a distraction for a curious child's mind. Small part, but still… we should do all we can to keep our children's attention focused on Christ, our Lord, himself.
The flogging is the worst, and I suspect that in reality it was not QUITE as horrible as that, or Jesus would not have been able to carry the cross at all, due to the amount of blood loss. (It was probably somewhat close though. I imagine that Pilot probably didn't order a normal flogging. He probably wanted to show the crowds how badly he had been punished so that he could move on to other things.) Our Poor LORD! What our sins do to Him!
I wish that a Mel Gibson would release an edited version of the movie that shows maybe one or two "stripes" then leaves the rest to the imagination – even leaving in the audio perhaps. Otherwise it is such a good movie.
Agree about the kids watching Jesus of Nazareth instead. (For the Passion part. I have issues with some of the rest of the film feeling a bit weak.)
Anyway, I even worry that "The Passion" movie even distracts myself from certain important elements. My minds view of Gethsamane was that it was much worse. And I also think more about the agony of the betrayal of Judas, his friends leaving him, the feelings of loneliness He must have felt and the humiliation of being stripped naked – something I hope no film ever portrays.
Maybe someday we will have a treasured series of movies about his ENTIRE LIFE and The Resurrection too. Wouldn't that be wonderful!
April 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Just a question (not an argument) for those who say they are not ready.
The Blessed Mother showed the children at Fatima a vision of hell, which is obviously much worse than this movie.
Those children were even younger.
Truth is truth.
Food for thought.
April 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Wow—just wow. Pat, thanks for posting this. I was going to watch this movie with my oldest son and daughter, ages 12 and 11, last night, but we decided to save it for tonight after the Last Supper liturgy.
Obviously, there must have been a bit of divine intervention involved here in that we waited until *after* reading your post and all these comments, which are practically unanimous—no, no, no, don’t show it to the kids!!
Thanks so much—we’ll be watching Jesus of Nazareth, or another version!
April 21, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I stupidly and mistakenly posted the above before I had finished my thought. Sorry.
I think that, if we are going to watch the uber-realism of the Crucifixion in The Passion, we need to go into it with the understanding of not only what and how, but the Why–that "Why" being the pole star that will guide us through a lot of the horror and sorrow, and provide context. I'd certainly make sure any child I showed the movie to had a fairly solid understanding of what was happening on the theological level. There's a reason why St. Paul called the Cross a "stumbling block" and "foolishness" to some people: death by cross was (and was meant to be) horrific and shameful; and I recall reading that Crucifixes and artistic portrayals of the Crucifixion did not arise in force till some years after actual executions by crucifixion had been outlawed, and the real thing was no longer available as an all-too-concrete reminder of what a crucifixion was actually like.
Maybe, come to think of it, an artistic interpretation of the Crucifixion is preferable to a too-literal depiction–because the artistic interpretation is the Event as transformed by Understanding. In any event, I'd be wary of exposing children to a host of visceral horrors that their minds might not be able to process as yet, but which will certainly be in their memories for quite a while to come.
—Anthony Nonymous
April 21, 2011 at 3:28 pm
@Patrick: The children of Fatima were shown hell. They said that they would have died and fallen into the flames had Our Lady not caught them and prevented it.
Be there for your children, in sickness and in health. They relie on you, their parent, Most of all, teach them that Our Lady is their Mother and God is their Father and no matter what happens, Jesus, Mary and Joseph is there for them. No matter what happens. If you weep for your sins during the play and your children see, they too, will learn how to weep for their sins.
April 21, 2011 at 3:40 pm
@Dennis: At ten and eleven their minds are not ready for contraception, abortion, homosexual behavior, loss of virginity, loss of sexual integrity, war and the other three Horses of the Apocalypse, not including ignorance and their minds may never be ready for such horror. The reality of the crucifixion, more, the love of God, the love of Jesus for His Father in heaven and his brothers and sisters on earth IS mindboggling and heart wrenching and ought to be shared with everybody. What really impinges upon my comfort is that Christ suffered all this and more because Jesus was and is a innocent man. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide but let your children know that they are welcome to share with you the Passion of the Christ.
April 21, 2011 at 3:43 pm
One child at a time, continuous discernment. This movie moved me more powerfully than any holy image or art ever has. After watching it the first time, I never wanted to watch another movie again… lest I forget. Like you, I want my children to know the same thing. However, I have learned over the years that my children don't always see things the way I do so I've been waiting, watching and praying about it. After seeing it the first time, I thought it would be a long, long time before I allowed any of my children to watch it. Then I changed my mind.
My kids don't watch gory or violent movies. We don't generally watch TV. They have not been desensitized to violence the way many children have and I thought (probably correctly) that this movie would be particularly startling because of this. Did I really want to introduce them to this in this particular way? This is what changed…
I realized that my son was growing oh-so-quickly. He was seeing a little more of the world and stretching faster than I expected. I decided (with my husband) that we wanted this movie to be his first experience of "violence". We knew the kind of impression it would make and thought there was nothing more appropriate than allow him to know that sickening horror for all the RIGHT reasons… not in some Rambo movie. His senses should be intact for this movie before any secular cultural images could numb him to it.
The year before, I had shown him a picture book from the movie. Disturbing, but in a milder way. And we talked through it and about it at length. This time, we asked him if he would like to see the Passion film. He wasn't sure but ultimately decided in the affirmative. He was nervous. He watched one night after the other children went to sleep. It did disturb him. It did leave an impression. His final take? "It was not a fun movie, but it was something I should have seen. Everyone should see this." That doesn't mean he slept well afterwards.
Ultimately, this is a tricky one for parents… but it comes down to knowing each child and prayerfully discerning. We will not have my second (a daughter) view this at the same age. She is different from her brother. I believe she would be deeply disturbed. Because she is already more sensitive and compassionate than her brother, and her female world exposes her to less violence in general, the need is not urgent. She is moved to tears at a still photo. I wanted the boy to SEE and FEEL it because he is so quickly becoming a man and AUGHT to see it and feel it. With her, I think waiting is best. But I will eventually encourage it since it was such a powerful tool in my own life. The point is not to disturb the children unduly, but to facilitate growth and love. The borderline is different for each child.
As for myself, I watch it every other year or so because I do not want to forget. Blessed Mother did not leave the Cross. I know many who will not watch because they don't want to be disturbed. But perhaps we aught to allow ourselves to be that disturbed… even if just once. I do think the movie should be viewed in a prayerful way and not with friends or popcorn. There is that danger of making light if we treat it as just another movie.
God bless you and your family. I'm sending up an Ave for your discernment.
April 21, 2011 at 4:00 pm
My 13 year old son – very well-formed in his faith at home and at an orthodox Catholic all boys school- walked out of his 8th grade class viewing of the Passion of the Christ last week after the crowning of thorns scene. Too much. Way too much.
3 days before the viewing I had pulled him aside and spoken with him about the film and asked if he thought he was prepared for it.
My hat is off to him for knowing his limits and acting on his own.
April 21, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Only you know your children and their readiness. However, I will say that I saw the movie in the theater when it came out. I was 24 at the time and it deeply disturbed me. I didn't sleep for at least a week afterwards. The film is intended to produce a very visceral reaction, and it definitely did to me. Ultimately, I think that's a good thing because we should be repulsed at how our Lord was treated, at the horrific way he suffered and died for us. But I wonder if that's something a young child is even capable of digesting in even the slightest. I certainly didn't until I was well into my twenties.
April 21, 2011 at 6:54 pm
I'm a 54 year old man, and this movie moves me to sobbing and sleepless nights every time I've seen it. Horrific depiction of utter and insensate evil against the ultimate good, Our Saviour.
But, for a 10 or 11 year old? I'm kind of thinking that, all things being equal, a lot of discussion and strong catechesis on you and your wife's part has to be done beforehand. It's true that our young 'uns are exposed to much worse in our society by their age perhaps, but in a fantasy or unreal world of media. Suddenly…you walk into church, and gaze upon our crucified Lord…and the memory (albeit one man's presentation…) of how He got there comes flooding back.
While being a firm believer in speaking truth to lies, sometimes tender age argues against too much vivid truth (and, how can we be sure that the Romans and their toadies were NOT that barbaric…Diocletian crucified the 10,000 soldiers who had built the wall around Rome…leaving them outside the gates…) at too soon a time.
In the end, only you and your wife can make that decision. If you do, be prepared to gently explain and answer their question, and don't be afraid to show your emotions, also. If not, that is also a valid decision to make, while not minimizing the importance of the next 3 days in their formation.
Prayers for your discernment.
April 21, 2011 at 7:42 pm
I'm with your wife — I wouldn't dream of letting my oldest (age 10) watch this movie. It's rated R for a reason, and I think I will wait until my kids are at least 15 or so.
I *do* want them to have a picture of the suffering that Christ endured for each of us, but the camera lingers on grotesque imagery that has nothing to do with His suffering and our redemption. I think those creepy elements of this film were inappropriate, and wish they'd been left out. For mature Christians who have more of a context for the movie, it can be powerful. But when the movie first came out, I remember churches using the film as an evangelistic tool — and I remember thinking that if this were the way someone tried to win me to Christianity, I would've thought they were kind of sick.
I think that our kids' young minds are not ready for this dark of a movie.
April 21, 2011 at 9:35 pm
My vote is "no". They are too young for such graphic violence. Its enough that they understand what happened to Christ from going to church every sunday. We are not taking my children to living stations of the cross even tho that is far less "realistic"… the acting out of this violence is just too much. One thing is knowing it happened (which both my 2 and 4 year olds already understand), but it is quite another to witness it on the screen. PS- love your blog!
April 21, 2011 at 9:55 pm
There are plenty of movies about the passion that are, methinks, better suited to children.
At fourteen or fifteen it may be different (depending on your observations), but at eleven I'd frankly avoid.
You might, though, start to inform your children that Jesus' sufferings were much more severe than it is generally shown in movies, severe to the point that you don't think they are ready for a realistic depiction of them yet.
Mundabor