Remember Hillary Clinton’s “vast right wing conspiracy?” Well, this is like that but for Catholics.
Supporters of a progressive Australian bishop pushed into early retirement for his promulgated views supporting female ordination among other things are blaming a cabal of evil right wingers, calling them…wait for it…”the Temple Police!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (Trademarked with and without the exclamation points.)
Dan Brown call your office. The albino monk Vatican assassins now have the Temple Police to help them. Along with them an Opus Dei, the right wing now seems all but unstoppable!
News.com.au reports:
A GANG of right-wing Catholics, dubbed the “Temple police”, are being blamed for the downfall of Toowoomba Bishop William Morris.
The group, which allegedly travelled around parishes to spy on progressive priests who do not toe the Vatican line, was believed to be involved in the popular priest’s ousting, reported The Courier-Mail.
The Pope last night renounced Bishop Morris’ leadership over his support for ordaining women as priests among other liberal reforms.
Bishop Morris shocked supporters at the weekend by announcing he had been forced into early retirement after falling out with the Vatican and the Pope.
The 68-year-old’s retirement followed a five-year investigation by the Vatican believed to have been sparked by a “disaffected” ultra-orthodox group which disagreed with his progressive views.
The evil nefarious disaffected ultra-orthodox “Temple Police” is an evil nefarious organization which is led by……an evil and nefarious 69 year old grandfather who…WRITES LETTERS TO THE ARCHBISHOP AND THE VATICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ahhhhhhhhh, the horror. Oh the humanity.
The 69 year old old grandfather, Richard Stokes, seems a bit amused by the accusation. He said there’s no such thing as “Temple police.” He said it’s all “a conspiracy theory…I’m not a big wheel. I don’t have troops or a cohort or a phalanx. I know other people who think like me but we’re all individuals.”
Ha! What else would an evil nefarious leader of a cohortian phalanx of secret troops say.
I’m actually kind of ticked off reading about this story. You mean to tell me that an evil nefarious phalanx of disaffected ultra-orthodox Catholics formed a secret organization and I wasn’t invited?!
Without an organization like that in America who else are the progressives going to blame when things go wrong? Maybe we could set up our own branch in the United States. We’ll have to come up with our own cool evil nefarious sounding name. Any ideas?
May 3, 2011 at 3:39 pm
How 'bout the Spanish Inquisition? Because no one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!
The Heresy Hunters
Burke's Brigade
May 3, 2011 at 3:49 pm
The Spanish Inquisition, and The Roman Inquisition, and The French Inquisition where all exemplary examples of the application of Biblical Exhortations.
May 3, 2011 at 4:26 pm
A better Pyton reference would be ….
Man: … I'm going to call the police.
Woman: Shouldn't you call the Church?
Son: Call the Church police.
Man: … all right. (shouts) The Church police!
(Enter two policemen with ecclesiastical accoutrements.)
Church Policeman: Yus!
Woman: There's another dead bishop on the landing, Vicar Seargent.
Church Policeman: Detective Parson, madam. Suffragan or diocesan?
Woman: How should I know?
Church Policeman: It's tattooed on the back of their necks. … Right! The hunt is on.
(kneels) Oh Lord we beseech thee tell us who croaked Leicester.
(Organ music. A huge hand descends and points at the man.)
Man: All right, it's a fair cop, but society is to blame.
Church Policeman: Agreed. We'll be charging them too…. And now, h'I'd like to conclude this h'arrest with a 'ymn.
May 3, 2011 at 4:28 pm
I am not Spatacus misses the point yet again. I like Heresy Hunters, we can start in the parish next to me that has a yearly clown mass that I'm sure you've all seen pictures of.
May 3, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Monty Python and Mel Brooks; Court Historians of The Whigs and tutors of modern Catholics.
Of course, one could read William Tomas Walsh and learn that Moses was the First Inquisitor and in two days, two days, had more men and women and children put to death that were killed as a result of all Inquisitions over two centuries.
And one could read –
Deut 19: One witness shall not rise up against any man, whatsoever the sin or wickedness be: but in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word shall stand. 16 If a lying witness stand against a man, accusing him of transgression, 17 Both of them, between whom the controversy is, shall stand before the Lord in the sight of the priests and the judges that shall be in those days. 18 AND WHEN AFTER MOST DILIGENT INQUISITION, they shall find that the false witness hath told a lie against his brother: 19 They shall render to him as he meant to do to his brother, and thou shalt take away the evil out of the midst of thee:
But, no matter. Let's all cite those who hate the Catholic Church and mock, laugh-at, and run-down a defensible and glorious past and don't hold your breath waiting for Monty Python or Mel Brooks to take on the First Inquisitor.
May 3, 2011 at 5:19 pm
That military/police concept is not foreign to the Church. The name was pretty close too. There were Knights Templars who defended the faithful against Muslims. Then there's the "Regimini militantis ecclesia" or Jesuits.
I guess we can add to your list: Liturgical Legions, Rubric Rangers and Canon Law Commandos.
May 3, 2011 at 5:38 pm
The Church Militants.
May 3, 2011 at 5:54 pm
"I am not Spartacus" ought to be 'I am not Humorous". Chillax dude – it's just a blog post.
May 3, 2011 at 6:04 pm
@LarryD. YEEESSS!
Look, "I am not Sparticus", I don't want to say anything uncharitable, but, after reading a bunch of your posts here well….
oh gee. I won't say anything uncharitable then. **
But, you do seem to often miss the point. You make points, some of them valid surely, but you seem to miss the MAIN POINT. Maybe you could try to stick to that. Is that uncharitable? I hope not.
Don't feel bad, I am an idiot AND also a jerk sometimes. But at least I'm working on it. sometimes…
May 3, 2011 at 6:08 pm
You mean to tell me that an evil nefarious phalanx of disaffected ultra-orthodox Catholics formed a secret organization and I wasn't invited?
Maybe your cohortian phalanx was adjudged insufficient.
May 3, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Ha! Great comment.
May 3, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Moses, the 1st inquisitor killed 23 thousand one day (Exodus 32)
Moses, the 1st Inquisitor, Killed 24 thousand one day (Numbers 25) including all of the women and children
Forty Seven Thousand killed by The First Inquisitor, Moses, in two days.
Non-Catholic historian Edward Peters:, in his work, Inquisition (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1989, p. 87),
The Spanish Inquisition, in spite of wildly inflated estimates of the numbers of its victims, acted with considerable restraint in inflicting the death penalty, far more restraint than was demonstrated in secular tribunals elsewhere in Europe that dealtwith the same kinds of offenses. The best estimate is that around 3000 death sentences were carried out in Spain by Inquisitorial verdict between 1550 and 1800, a far smaller number than that in comparable secular courts.
Dear Alabama…Hamma and Larry D.. Like George Washington Plunkitt, I sees my opportunities and I take them.
I thought it opportune to parade a few facts by. I doubt one in one hundred million Christian Catholics, say nothing about Jews and Protestants and atheists, know the facts about Moses as the first Inquisitor and how his record compares unfavorable to Frey Tomas De Tourquemada, about whom the vast majority of Catholics are ignorant and so they consider it funny to hear his name and reputation continually blackened
A William Thomas Walsh notes, "Moses put to death, in the name of religion, a far greater number of human beings than Torquemada did. Yet his name has been venerated by orthodox Jews and Roman Catholic alike, and alwys will be, while that of the Dominican monk has become a stench in the nostrils of the modern world, and a symbol of something indefensible." ("Characters of the Inquisition.")
Far too many Christian Catholics internalise the prejudices of their enemies, then end-up reflexively echoing them when a "trigger" is experienced, and then end-up boasting it is all in good fun.
Not me, when I read about , "Temple Police," I think, Holy Moses!!!
May 3, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Ann said…
The Church Militants.
Most excellent!
May 3, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Darth Orthodox
Viva La Empire!
May 3, 2011 at 7:05 pm
First Pfleaker or what have you and then a heretical Bishop! We should call Pope Benedict God's janitor because he is cleaning up!
May 3, 2011 at 7:08 pm
I suggest something scary special to progressive priests: "Devil's Enemy".
What about?
May 3, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Crazy Americans Taking over Humanity and Oppressing Liberals, Individuals, and Choice
Because, after all isn't that what Catholics are according to the left?
May 3, 2011 at 9:41 pm
If God wanted a person to become a priest, God would have brought him into the world as a man. Those who would reject doing the will of God, reject God and are called atheists. In rejecting God, individuals reject the common good of the nation and forfeit their citizenship, as have atheists, abortionists, fornicators, practicing homosexuals, pornographers. The TRUTH will set you free. Liars are perjurers in a court of law. Those who would make war against the Catholic Church, make war against the state constituted by the persons who belong to the Catholic Church. Those who would separate citizens from the TRUTH make war against the state.
May 3, 2011 at 9:53 pm
The Fighting Fisheaters!!
May 3, 2011 at 9:58 pm
Pope Benedict XVI is the Vicar of Christ. Vicar means the bearer of the Life of Christ. Christ is the TRUTH, the LIFE and the Way. Christ's TRUTH obliterated is heresy. What does Saint Paul say about fornicators?
The Lawgiver is God. Moses is His messenger.
Christ is King. Pope Benedict is Christ's Vicar."My Father's house is a house of prayer."