I just read that the great Greg and Jennifer Willits, who host “The Catholics Next Door” are filming their own Catholic sitcom. I think this is a great idea. And here’s the thing. I think I can help. I’ve watched a lot of television in my life. My parents had seven kids. They didn’t know where I was about three quarters of the time so I watched a lot of Silver Spoons, Brady Bunch, and Growing Pains. And I sat inches from the screen in order to absorb every miscommunication, every punchline, and every catchphrase.
That’s right. Every show needs a catchphrase. If you don’t have it, you’re sunk. So here’s some suggestions for the Willits on possible catchphrases for a Catholic sitcom. And I think they’d appreciate if you could add yours to the combox.
1) Whatchoo talking about, Jesuit?
2) I’ve fallen and I can get up.
3) Not that there’s not anything wrong with that.
4) Dyno-mitre!
5) We’re not worthy…but we’re forgiven!
6) Q. Hey, where ya’ heading?
A. To Purgatory unless I change my ways.
7) Born again? Nah, once is enough for me!
8) Stultus ego dolui! (which is “I pity the fool” in Latin. I don’t think we have to worry about a lawsuit because there’s no way Mr. T speaks Latin.)
9) Follow me if you want to live. (Said like a Terminator.)
10) I love it when an encyclical comes together.
My quick suggestion is that at the end of the pilot, the Pope breaks a lamp. Everyone looks at him and one of the smart alecky kids says, “So much for infallible,” and they all laugh and then the frame freezes. Pope puts his hands on his hips but then smiles. Fade to black.
Please add more catchphrases of your own.
August 8, 2011 at 5:56 am
“Misereo stulti” (or “stulto”…both are acceptable) is “I pity the fool” in Latin.
“Miserere mihi Stultitia” is gibberish. I mean, they’re all words, but they don’t make any sense together.
Sorry.
August 8, 2011 at 6:00 am
Oh, and it's a great list. Sorry, didn't mean to come off as a complete jerk.
August 8, 2011 at 10:48 am
And the little sister says to the Pope: "It's a lamp unto thy feet!"
August 8, 2011 at 11:32 am
Don't forget FlipWilson's "The Devil made me do it!"
August 8, 2011 at 11:37 am
"Why yes, we do live under a Rock."
August 8, 2011 at 12:41 pm
"Offer *this* up!"
August 8, 2011 at 1:00 pm
blame google translator
August 8, 2011 at 1:18 pm
I could see a little kid coming to tattle on his brother for hitting him:
"…And I turned the other cheek, but now my whole face is sore."
August 8, 2011 at 2:35 pm
From the tween kid brother, "Fish for dinner Again? Man…I hate Fridays…" (cue star visit by Rebecca Black).
August 8, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Stephanie wins! Perfect!
August 8, 2011 at 3:20 pm
"Quo vadis, Pater?"
August 8, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Q. Why do Catholics do what they do?
A. Cause we do.
August 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm
"Anathema sit!"
August 8, 2011 at 5:34 pm
"Stultus ego dolui" is "I, the fool, suffered."
Google Translate sucks. Name me your new Latin proofreader.
August 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Dad get's up for his home office chair to run after on of the kids. As the chair spins around comically, we see a sign on the empty chair, It reads "sede vacante"…FADE
August 8, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Nine mo' months, one mo' time.
August 9, 2011 at 12:33 am
When the Dad gets annoyed with someone, he can call them a "whited sepulchre." Jesus' verbal smackdowns don't get any better.
August 9, 2011 at 12:51 am
I agree, Stephanie wins; but Larry D is a close runner up but only if the family dog is named Anathema.
"If you think it's easy being a Catholic, you're doing wrong."
August 9, 2011 at 3:10 am
Hi, I'm Pilate. This is my brother Herod. And this is my other brother Herod.
August 9, 2011 at 4:11 am
Micah, you've won the series penance!