I spoke to an old buddy of mine today for about an hour. My kids’ school had a fundraiser at Chick-Fil-A so I piled the kids in the car and off we went. My buddy just happened to be eating at that Chick-Fil-A because he was on his way somewhere else.
So he sat with us and we joked around and laughed for about an hour as my kids talked to their friends from school at other tables or on the playground. It was great.
So I just told my wife we saw him and we talked for over an hour. My wife asked me how his wife was. “I have no idea,” I said. “She wasn’t there.”
“You didn’t ask?”
No.
“How are his kids?”
“Uhm.”
“Do you even know how many kids he has?”
“No.”
“Is he still at the same job?” she asked.
“I don’t really know that,” I said. “It didn’t come up.”
This flustered my wife terribly. “You spoke to him for over an hour and you have no idea about his wife, his kids, or his job?”
I said, “Here’s what I know. He doesn’t think Colin Kaepernick is for real, he’s ticked that Mitt Romney lost, he’s upset his taxes are going up, he remembers every single lyric to the “BJ and the Bear” theme song, he’s thinking about going to the March for Life this year, he believes WKRP in Cincinnati is underrated, he plays the Irish drums now (not that I know what Irish drums are), he thinks his priest is a good guy but a bit of a hippie, and after watching six episodes of “Finding Bigfoot” in one night he’s pretty convinced that there’s no such thing as a Squatch but he thinks it’s great that those guys get to stay out all night.”
My wife became silent. She’s still silent and I’m using that window of silence to write this down. Pretty soon she’ll have more questions and I’ll have to stop writ…
January 16, 2013 at 1:38 am
I just shared this post with my husband. He said, "Of course this is how men talk. Because we don't gossip…"
January 17, 2013 at 8:35 pm
…and that's when the fight started
January 17, 2013 at 8:35 pm
…and that's when the fight started
January 16, 2013 at 1:53 am
My mother is the same way when I meet with old school friends "What is he studying?" "What job does he have now?" and so on and so forth when we were talking about interests and a thousand other shit that weren't our personal or work lives.
January 16, 2013 at 2:09 am
Oh my God! It's like you have a window into my soul!
January 16, 2013 at 2:44 am
The very conversation could have happened in our home. With the very same results.
January 16, 2013 at 4:57 am
Are you my husband?
January 16, 2013 at 11:54 am
Sounds like the name of a Dr. Suess book.
January 16, 2013 at 1:13 pm
It's actually because "how're the wife and kids" is, for men in this culture, a part of etiquette—therefore it's dispensed with among friends. Men aren't exactly rude to their friends, but they aren't deliberately polite, either. Women are more likely to observe etiquette even with their friends.
In Japan or France, where "how're the wife and kids" is actually a slightly personal question, you're much more likely to hear about a friend's family without asking, because they go in the same box with Bigfoot and WKRP of "stuff I wanna talk about with my friends". The Japanese actually have a slang term for it, "oyabaka", literally "an idiot parent".
January 16, 2013 at 3:24 pm
This is exactly the conversation I had with my 17 year old son. He saw his friend for the first time in a year and I asked my son, "How is Kevin?" "He's good." "Where is he living now?" "I dunno." "Where is he going to school?" "I dunno." And on and on. I was SO frustrated. I told him he would never make a good reporter, that's for sure. I told him he just can't communicate. Now I see it is just a guy thing.
January 16, 2013 at 6:54 pm
My husband may tell me that a colleague's wife finally did have the kid…a few weeks ago. He'll tell me when I remember to ask, but he will not know the gender or the baby's name. Apparently, details aren't that important. I think it's funny in a slightly exasperating way.
January 16, 2013 at 7:16 pm
And this is exactly why I really enjoy men!
January 16, 2013 at 10:16 pm
To sum up the subject of this post: women talk about people, and men talk about the world. Both are perfectly just and normal expressions of both sexes' complementary particular vocations.
January 16, 2013 at 10:43 pm
Yupp! Sounds like our house.
January 16, 2013 at 11:52 pm
WKRP is underrated.
January 17, 2013 at 5:08 am
A while back I mentioned to my wife that I was worried about so-and-so, a particular friend at work.
Sympathetically, she said, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Surprised, I replied, "We just did."
January 17, 2013 at 8:02 am
I used to hang out with guys and I was raised with my brother by our single dad during our teenage years, so I tend to converse much the way guys do. I love talking about all kinds of subjects. Except when I'm with my one best girlfriend. I am a woman, after all! Hahaha!
January 17, 2013 at 11:31 am
Been there, done that, bought the book, got the tee shirt, drove the SUV across it on vacation…
One of the most telling ways that men and women are different.
January 18, 2013 at 7:48 am
My son asked me how I knew so much about a friend of his he has known for years and has no clue about family, age, etc. I ask, I said.
However, facebook has changed this. Too much information is the problem now. Just tell your wife to read about those friends or acquaintances on facebook. TMI
January 21, 2013 at 12:51 am
I read this to my husband, and we laughed out loud. This is wonderful. However, sometimes I wish I could have those kinds of conversations with the girls…