Our children come out of the womb and start crying so we feed them. Sometimes it seems like all they want to do is eat, cry, and that other thing which we’re not even going to talk about.

They cry at night and we get out of bed to check on them. We check on them when they’re making strange noises and we check on them if they’re too quiet.

We childproof our homes, rounding out the hard edges.

When they learn to walk we hunch ourselves over for months to protect them from corners.

We teach our children values.

We teach them to pray.

We get to know their friends because we don’t want any bad influences affecting them.

We worry.

We work with them on their homework every day and night.

We endure their terrible teenage moods.

We drive them back to school when they forgot a book.

We stay up with them finisihing projects that are due tomorrow.

We bring them to Mass on Sundays and holy days.

We work hard for decades in order to educate our precious children.

And then we pay $25,000 a year to send them to be educated by people who teach them to hate everything we taught them, tear down our values, and despise our patriarchal religious zealotry. And then we wonder what happened. Stop the madness.

*subhead*Dopes.*subhead*