I’m heading to a funeral this morning. My aunt passed away. So posting will be light today.
But I just wanted to ask this one question that has nothing to do with the fact that I’m heading to a funeral. I’m heading to softball games a few times a week for the girls and tee ball for the wee one.
These games are different than basketball and volleyball because very very little actually happens on the field. Lots of walks. So softball becomes social season for parents. And oh, how we all chit and chat. We separate into groups even. The sideline starts looking like a junior high school dance with all the boys over here and all those stinky girls over there.
But here’s a funny thing. I don’t drink anymore simply because I find abstaining easier than moderation. But inevitably the men on the sideline will start enjoying talking and start wondering if we could all continue this grand ol’ time at the local pub. Everytime I tell one of the men I don’t drink alcohol anymore they feel the need to tell me exactly how much and how often they drink and explain to me why they don’t believe that’s a problem. And why their wife does.
What the heck is that about?
April 9, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Oh, wait, you weren't commanding ME to tell YOU … doh! I live in Utah and whenever the subject of alcoholic beverages comes up, there is one of two responses: (1) the stony uncomfortable silence of those who KNOW that letting such a wicked evil substance past their lips will damn them to hell forever or (2) frat-boy excitement. A certain slice of the observant Mormons who don't drink are still VERY curious about it and try to draw me into a conversation on that oh so very boring topic. Funny.
April 9, 2013 at 8:21 pm
Alcohol is so stinkin' contentious- for good reason.
My husband won't have a drop unless I'm driving, because he's in law enforcement and we live in a zero tolerance state where if you get in an unrelated accident (someone could run into YOU at a stoplight), you could get a DUI even without showing any signs of impairment. That said, when his friends want to go out drinking, he just offers to drive and gets some wings and a water. They're supposed to give designated driver's free soda, but he rarely drinks soda so I've never heard it tested.
Alllso, it depends on the pub. Our local pub hardly counts as a bar setting- they have awesome food and we often go there for food only. I'd guess only 45% of people in the bar section are drinking anything containing alcohol.
If they get rowdy though, that isn't fun. Some people have a drink, and some people have a drink or 5.
April 9, 2013 at 9:32 pm
I don't understand the psychology behind this kind of response either, (and I'm well used to it). Before my marriage, my husband's grandmother, a 'wise' old nonna, was once reported as telling the family that I wasn't to be trusted because I didn't drink!
(I have tried alcohol, in my late teens, but due to an inhereted 'inborn error of metabolism' linked to a liver enzyme, it is one of the substances that I'm not able to process very well – it literally poisons me. (But then again, I consider even paracetamol and ibuprofen to be dangerous drugs!). Just as well, as it is such utterly revolting stuff: I much prefer tea.
The only thing that makes me temper my ferocious opposition to alcohol (and lets me know that the way I feel must be unjust), is the fact that Our Lord chose the transformation of water into wine as the object of His first public miracle, and that he chose for His priests to receive His Precious Blood, (Himself, whole and entire), under the form of wine, as well as bread. (Clearly the two (like so many other events recorded in Sacred Scripture) are linked, and we could spend a whole lifetime exploring the depth and the richness of the underlying theology). Why the laity feel that they must receive Him 'under both kinds', is a question that is even further beyond me! If the Doctrine of Concommitance was better known or reflected upon, I think that many Catholics would simply receive the Sacred Host alone as a precious act of faith. (And we wouldn't need legions of unnecessary (and illegal) extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, or have to witness so many acts of sacrilige).
My condolences on the death of your aunt. Please be assured of my prayers for her soul, and your family.
April 9, 2013 at 9:41 pm
BTW – Apologies for my spelling of 'inherited' and 'Concomitance', if anyone actually reads these. (I am often so engaged in thinking about the absolute probity of what I write, that I often seem to get a bit tardy about how I write it down.
April 9, 2013 at 10:14 pm
I like wine, a lot. So I don't drink wine that contains alcohol anymore. If I'm out with and drinking is happening, I have a non-alcoholic beer (very available) or wine (hard to find at restaurants and parties). At home I buy the alcohol removed chardonnay (Fre is the brand).
I can't drink in moderation so I don't drink, like you. My husband still likes his wine and Guinness. I can even buy it for friends if we are hosting. I will not be the obnoxious tea-toter.
April 9, 2013 at 10:44 pm
Why say anything at all? My (unsolicited) advice would be to go to the pub with the guys, order Coke or club soda or whatever, and continue the conversation. Odds are (a) nobody will notice, (b) if someone does, he won't care, and (c) if he does care, he won't bring it up.
April 9, 2013 at 11:38 pm
@Ranting Catholic mom.
Each to his or her own though, I suggest. One good thing about obnoxious types, is that they don't tend to care what anyone on earth thinks of them, and so are free to wish the very best to all.
If you had been called into Resus to see your 19 year old son on a ventilator with a GCS of 3, and told to say your goodbyes to him, just because he wouldn't take his mothers advice that alcohol was strictly prohibited in all but the tiniest moderation, then you'd probably be an obnoxious tee-totaller too!
Anononymous Part III
April 10, 2013 at 2:03 am
This comment has been removed by the author.
April 10, 2013 at 2:05 am
Abstaining from drinking is like not marrying a woman and having as many babies as God allows because it may be an occasion to sin.
As a Mexican Catholic man, I have double responsibility to have a drink.
Do any of you know there is a Catholic blessing for beer?
Many men suffer from terminal skirt burn and make up all sorts of excuses to not be manly.
Then women complain that men are more girly than women.
Sit back, have a beer and some tobacco, and watch your wife cook and do the dishes.
It will be a small step towards regaining your manhood.
By the way, who says you have to drink at the pub?
Do you have to swim just because you are at the beach?
April 10, 2013 at 3:49 am
As a Mexican Catholic man, I have double responsibility to have a drink.
Based on your comment, I would have to guess that you've carried out your responsibilities this evening.
April 10, 2013 at 4:18 am
Since you didn't ask, I like to have a 40 oz Colt 45 every presidential election. It's smooth, and Billy Dee Williams is one smooth customer.
April 10, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Maybe they do it as a defense mechanism or simply to rile you up. Tea totalers are so often obnoxious that it is fun making them mad.
April 11, 2013 at 12:42 am
*points at majority of "because they are drunks" type comments*
Getting an idea why they might consider you mentioning that you don't drink as a shadowed accusation?
April 11, 2013 at 12:20 pm
You just called the dads at your kids softball game drunks. I'm guessing that if any of them read your blog you are going to be real popular….or not.
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