I know everything looks bleak right now. There’s the Coronavirus, churches are closed, and now Andrew Lloyd Weber has released his musicals for free.
But I want everyone to stop being so apocalyptic. I don’t think this is how it all ends. I’m no Biblical scholar but I read all the prophecies and stuff and don’t remember anything like “He that hath an ear, let him hear about binging Netflix, no NBA, or suffering from bedsores on your couch.” So I think we’re safe.
That is, unless, the Jezebel the Book of Revelation refers to, “which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication” could mean Hollywood.
Or if the beasts of the apocalypse are Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin. If that’s the case, we’re totally screwed. But in my studied opinion, I don’t think it is.
In fact, I’m trying to look on the bright side. The amazing ability of God to transform tragedy into a positive always amazes me.
Dr. Fauci has told us over and over that this will be the worst week. But let’s remember it’s Holy Week. Making something good come out of tragedy is what God does. I’m still a little unclear how he makes something good come out of the Joe Exotic documentary but I have faith.
But maybe some good coming out of this is we’re simplifying our lives. I’ve spoken to my neighbors more in the past two weeks than I have in years. I’m enjoying it. I’m pretty sure they’re all going back inside and calling their realtors.
I’m learning so much about my neighborhood though. I just heard there’s a bobcat loose in our town. Obviously that’s worrisome because…I’ve heard that animals can carry the Coronavirus. Also, bobcats have sharp flesh tearing teeth, razor-like claws, and a ravenous thirst for man blood. But mostly the Coronavirus.
So now, I’m taking the dog for all his walks because I can’t have the kids out there. The thing is they eat. All the time. Three meals a day. My son yesterday was still chewing the last bite of his breakfast when he asked what was for lunch.
The problem is that I’m right there with them. I love my kids. I don’t want them to eat and be lonely. So I eat with them. I’m gonna’ be 800 pounds by the time this quarantine is over. I’m gonna explode soon. Will that be a Corona induced death?
But don’t worry Bill Gates is on the job. He spending a lot of money to come up with a vaccine to beat the virus. Guy can’t make a Windows program that doesn’t get a virus but we’re gonna’ trust him with the real thing? Will we have to go back to the doctor every month or so for an update?
I don’t know, once I hear someone go on and on about the dangers of overpopulation. I’m not sure that’s the person I trust with a vaccine.