Actor John Goodman has rejoined the cast of forthcoming movie Pope Joan, a movie about an alleged Pope in the middle ages who was secretly a woman. It’s kind of like Yentl for shiksas. The film is scheduled to start filming next month. The film looks to be heavy on the sex and pretty short on theology as the Pope’s got a steamy love interest in the Vatican. You know, because too much theology might make it not suitable for children.
Goodman had walked off set a few months back and after delays and a legal dispute he’s finally back so the movie which seemed off the tracks for a while is unfortunately back on. Goodman is also pretending to be a Pope in the film.
Here’s the myth of Pope Joan, according to Patrick Madrid: “In the middle ages, an extraordinarily brilliant young woman entered a theological university disguised as a man. Her intellect outstripped her male classmates and she shot to the top rank of students. Her brilliance was so widely acknowledged that she eventually became Cardinal and finally “Pope Joan,” by hiding her gender. No one knew she was a woman until, during a papal procession through the streets of Rome, she went into labor and gave birth to a child. She and the baby were killed on the spot by the crazed Catholic mob, enraged at her imposture.”
So the movie looks to be a whole forbidden love thing. Now, of course, there’s no evidence of any of this being even close to true but believers point to the lack of evidence as proof of a cover-up by the Church. Convenient, right?
And you know that when this trash hits the screens, there’s going to be so many specials, documentaries, and promotional interviews about Pope Joan and female ordination. Fr. Richard McBrien will be quoted in the New York Times saying, “if it’s not true it should be.” Larry King will ask Bill Donahue what the female Pope might say about the Church if she were alive today and Donahue will actually exlode right there in front of the cameras. And Pope Joan will still be seen by many “Entertainment Tonight” watchers, not as a ridiculous movie but as a real biography of one of the first feminists who made it to the top of the all boy’s Catholic Church.
Get ready folks.
And worst of all now because of Goodman, I can’t even watch Roseanne reruns anymore.
August 5, 2008 at 4:36 am
I can see it now – theatres running “Pope Joan” specials: large Popecorn and diet Popesi for a low price….
Sorry – couldn’t resist.
In all seriousness, this is a disgrace. Maybe this film will get struck with divine intervention..
And the image of Bill Donahue exploding while on Larry King made me laugh.
August 5, 2008 at 9:14 am
popecorn -wish I’d thought of it. That’s funny.
August 5, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Get out the Templar costumes for Halloween!
Why is it that otherwise normal people lose their grey cells when it comes to believing fantasies about Catholicism that would disgrace a Harry Potter novel?
— Mack
August 5, 2008 at 1:39 pm
it doesn’t matter if it’s true. what matters is whether or not you prefer it to have been true.
August 5, 2008 at 1:49 pm
“Donahue will actually exlode right there in front of the cameras.”
Nah, I’m thinking spontaneous combustion.
August 5, 2008 at 3:41 pm
My, my, our little culture wars are beginning to get very entertaining.
I wonder when they’ll make a film about that conservative who became a world-famous sociologist, all the while concealing his true opinions.
No one knew he was a conservative, until he was invited to join a gay parade through the streets of San Francisco. When he refused, a crowd of crazed liberals shredded his reputation and cast him out from academia.
Of course, even though this scenario never happened (indeed, could it ever happen?), liberals would see this film not as a ridiculous movie but as a real biography of one of their enemies who made it to the top of an all liberal’s institution. All the more reason to keep vigilant against evil conservative impostors in the future.
Concerning all this, Fr. Z might say, “if it’s not true, it really should be.”
August 5, 2008 at 7:09 pm
First, “The Da Vinci Code”, now this POS. Does it ever stop?
Nevermind, Christ said His Church would be persecuted right till the end. (Sigh).
August 5, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Come on, folks, this is 2008, when Oprah annoints her (meaning our) choice for President, when a Presidential candidate’s megalomania get passed off as substantial fact, when Hollywood can’t even get a PG-rated film decent enough for most older adolescents to watch, when we have a dearth of fine art, poetry, music, architecture, and a lack of strong Catholic prelates who have a bit spine.
Sure, there was a Pope Joan. There was also a Forest Gump and an Obi Wan Kenobi. She hung out with ET. I think that he impregnated her. I’ll have to check with Oprah or her candidate and get back to y’all.
August 6, 2008 at 1:31 am
She and her baby were killed on the spot? Then there won’t be a part II episode, sadly. Might be a prequel though: “Attack of the Snopes”
August 6, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Personally, I can’t watch Roseanne reruns because of…Roseanne.
August 6, 2008 at 1:59 pm
…”And worst of all now because of Goodman, I can’t even watch Roseanne reruns anymore.”
That’s how I feel about Tom Hanks, and Ron Howard; a’la Davinci Code
August 6, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Willy J,
I don't think you're giving the entreprenuers in Hollywood a fair shake.
What if she was feigning death? What if she was resurrected via necromancy?
What if her lover went a revenge rampage?
I mean, come on….
once we leave the sphere of reality, anything is possible, right?
And, of course, once Dan Brown gets a hold of this one, we will be treated to a tale about how a secret group of women (who all, of course, secretly wanted to be men) formed a cult around Pope Joan and her baby and how, since then, every image of the Madonna and Child is really a representation of the "martyred" woman.
Oh what tangled webs they weave… all in the name of making money.
~<3
August 7, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Someone care to explain why we still believe this Protestant propaganda circulated after the Reformation? Even the lies about how Catherine the Great died are more plausible. I like how we can bring culture and literacy to all of Europe and then somehow be the superstitious, ignorant oafs when living faithfully isn’t so appealing to an undisciplined, ungracious king who couldn’t keep his knickers buttoned. Pardon my language, but I’m a bit irked about it, as you may be able to tell.
~Nzie
August 8, 2008 at 12:56 am
Well, hopefully Roman Catholics (and our spokespersons) have the good sense to treat this development with the same forbearance and (exasperated) humour with which we treated the release of the DaVinci Code. The latter flopped, and we can probably expect as much here. It’s about time pop culture was finally inoculated against this Reformation-era analogue of an ‘urban myth’. This is as good a time as any. After the hype and the (inevitable) overheated outrage settles down, most people will laugh at those who’d been had by this silliness.