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The Apocalypse Will be like Aliens…But Ickier

According to Environmental Graffiti: This horror movie monster was a hidden stowaway in crates carrying other sea creatures. And for a while it just acted like a teenager by breaking things and bothering some of the sea life in the aquarium. But then it went into full blown monster mode by maiming a Tang fish and terrorizing the other aquatic life.

When alarm bells about an intruder started ringing among the workers, the cunning critter devoured not only the bait but also the hooks on traps that had been set overnight. Barry even bit through a 20-pound fishing line, before eventually being lured out with fish scraps in a gripping climax, as the aquarium display was dismantled rock by rock.

So then the aquarium had a great idea. Let’s keep him and make money off the sea monster. Hey, it’s just “armed with sharp, powerful jaws that can slice prey in two, and covered with thousands of bristles purportedly capable of numbing a human with their sting.”

What could possibly go wrong?

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The Puke Ray

You know I was just getting accustomed to the idea of a war between us and giant worms. But this new weapon makes it seem like the apocalypse might be much messier and stinkier. The Register: US firm says handheld puke ray is ready to go

A US industrial laser company says it has developed a functional puke-ray system, ideal for use by cops or military personnel wishing to take down their opponents without shooting them. The firm proposes to issue the “non lethal light fighting technology” in two form factors – light-sabre/torch and blaster-pistol.

According to Laser Energetics’ statement:
These non-lethal weapons have the ability to control the threat at ranges of 1 meter to 2400 meters (model dependent). The Dazer Laser™ – Light Fighting Technologies – emit a green “eye safe” laser beam, that is shaped into approximately a 1 foot to 8 foot Dazer Zone™ (model dependent) which when focused on the threats eyes, the threats vision is temporarily impaired, their balance is effected, and they become affected by nausea. This controls the threat making it difficult for them to manoeuver.

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Our New Middle East Diplomacy

Guess which one we are?

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The Family Stone(d)

The Salt Lake Tribune

A West Valley City father told police he grew marijuana with his son so he could be a “cool dad,” according to court documents.

The 41-year-old father was charged with felonies for drug production and child endangerment on Thursday in state court in Salt Lake City. Court papers say police received a tip he was cultivating marijuana in his basement. When police served a search warrant, they found plants and supplies. The father’s 17-year-old son was living at the home and the father said they were growing marijuana together, court papers say.

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The Second Comendment?

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – A Kentucky pastor is inviting his flock to bring guns to church to celebrate the Fourth of July and the Second Amendment.

New Bethel Church is welcoming “responsible handgun owners” to wear their firearms inside the church June 27, a Saturday. An ad says there will be a handgun raffle, patriotic music and information on gun safety.

“We’re just going to celebrate the upcoming theme of the birth of our nation,” said pastor Ken Pagano. “And we’re not ashamed to say that there was a strong belief in God and firearms — without that this country wouldn’t be here.”

Yeah. Uh. No.

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Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?


ADELANTO, Calif. – Authorities arrested a woman for allegedly trying to kidnap her daughter’s boyfriend and haul him away to Northern California. A sheriff’s spokeswoman said Tuesday that two women went to the young man’s home on Saturday afternoon and tried to tie him up with duct tape.

The victim told authorities the women said they were taking him to get him away from one of the women’s 21-year-old daughter.

What the mother did here is very bad. Everyone knows first you drug him, then you tie him up. Amateurs.

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This Guy!

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No Dozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

The Register: In a scientific triumph whose significance would be difficult to exaggerate, American boffins have managed to create a breed of special flies which require hardly any sleep.

The wakeful insects are the brainchild of Paul Shaw, PhD, of the Washington University in St Louis (WUSTL). According to WUSTL, “Shaw’s lab was the first to show that fruit flies enter a state of inactivity comparable to sleep”.

Having discovered this weakness, Shaw and his colleagues lost no time in rectifying it. They began a dedicated eugenics programme aimed at the creation of special flies needing little or no sleep.

“After generations of selective breeding,” it says in the WUSTL statement, “Shaw’s group had produced a line of flies that naturally spent only an hour a day asleep — less than 10 percent of the 12 hours of sleep normal flies get.”

What remains unexplained is why the scientists didn’t just feed the flies Red Bull and the flies new found craving for human brain tissue.

5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 …………………………….

Posted by Patrick & Matthew Archbold