In order to continue their orgiastic spending spree on themselves, Canadians have borrowed heavily from their children and grandchildren for years. But trouble seems imminent as it was revealed this week that Canadians forgot to actually have children and grandchildren to borrow from, leaving the economy in danger of collapse.

Canada’s fertility rate stands at 1.54 children per woman while the replacement level is 2.1.


According to LifeSite News:

The C.D. Howe Institute, a Canadian public policy think tank, issued a study last Thursday on the problem of demographic change in increasingly-aged Canada.

The study argues that immigration alone will not offset the effects of Canada’s increasing ratio of dependant elderly to workers. The authors assert, rather, that “later retirement, higher fertility, and faster productivity growth are more powerful tools to ease the stress of demographic change on Canadian living standards.”

According to the study, “current fertility and immigration rates, moderately rising life expectancy, and historical productivity increases can be expected to depress workforce growth, boost the ratio of Canadians 65 and over to those of working age (the old-age dependency ratio) and depress growth in incomes per person.”

I repeat my Uh-oh.

Some have suggested raising the retirement age but let’s face it, they didn’t have babies because it seemed kinda’ like a lot of work while they were in the prime of their lives so now they’re being told they have to work when they’re old and tired. Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? I mean like total bummer, you hoser.

Hmmm. If only there was a way to create very small Canadians who could grow up and work to support older Canadians. Then they could go right on spending. Anyone ever hear of a way to do that? Anyone?

I mean look, I’m not Canadian or anything but I’d suggest that maybe when Canadian women actually get pregnant they stop aborting their babies at such a high rate. Just an idea, eh. In Canada, there are about 30 abortions per 100 live births, according to Pro Life Canada. Man, those babies sure would’ve come in handy right about now with the economy on the brink of collapse and all. Those babies could’ve supported you hosers for years to come.

But here’s the cold hard facts. Canada needs to either start having more babies or kill off some old people. That’s it. That’s all the answers there are. Sadly, I’m pretty sure which one Canada’s going to pick.