Patrick & Matthew Archbold  ·  Published since 2005 Tuesday, 20 October 2026

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Minority Report

We Laugh Because We Believe

Set in two inks Black for the argument. Red for everything the Church already answered.

Des Moines Register: Kill Gun Owners, Tie Boehner to Back of Truck

This is just disgusting. Columnist Donald Kaul of the Des Moines Register came out of retirement to write this. He should go back in. Here’s his prescription for the country to stem gun violence. (No link for asshattery):

Declare the NRA a terrorist organization and make membership illegal. Hey! We did it to the Communist Party, and the NRA has led to the deaths of more of us than American Commies ever did. (I would also raze the organization’s headquarters, clear the rubble and salt the earth, but that’s optional.) Make ownership of unlicensed assault rifles a felony. If some people refused to give up their guns, that “prying the guns from their cold, dead hands” thing works for me.

• Then I would tie Mitch McConnell and John Boehner, our esteemed Republican leaders, to the back of a Chevy pickup truck and drag them around a parking lot until they saw the light on gun control.

And if that didn’t work, I’d adopt radical measures.

So his prescription to end violence is killing gun owners and tying congressmen to the backs of trucks? Yeah, that’s logical. It’s bad enough that one man wrote this but this was approved by editors.

*subhead*Sick.*subhead*

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