I have zero intention of watching tonight’s State of the Union speech by President Obama. To give you an indication of how much I intend to NOT watch the speech here’s a list of things I’d rather do than watch Obama tonight.

1) Attend a three hour Ivy League symposium on Nancy Pelosi’s great theological wisdom called “From Aquinas to Pelosi.”

2) Watch Season 1 DVD of “The Good Guys.” The extended Director’s version.

3) Drink Pop Rocks and soda.

4) Discuss all the successes that the “Spirit of Vatican II” has had on the Catholic Church.

5) Aerobicize to a Jane Fonda video. And I’d be rocking the leotards ’cause that’s how I roll.

6) Watch a Jane Fonda double feature starting with “Stanley and Iris” and “Monster in Law.”

7) Hang out with my gassy buddy Rich in a science lab with all the bunsen burners on high.

8) Nair Ernest Borgnine’s back

9) Nair Nancy Pelosi’s back.

10) Read Vox Nova. Even the combox!!!!!!!

Please let me know what you’d rather do than watch Obama’s State of the Union show tonight.