Patrick & Matthew Archbold  ·  Published since 2005 Friday, 30 October 2026

Creative
Minority Report

We Laugh Because We Believe

Set in two inks Black for the argument. Red for everything the Church already answered.

Future Speaker Boehner — I Pray All Day

Future Speaker Boehner (whose skin tone, according to some paleo-socio-archaeologists, is probably very similar to that of a very famous first century semite) say that he prays all day- every day. What fer? Conservative victory? That’s what fer.

“I’ve been praying all day, every day,” Boehner told conservative radio host Mike Gallagher this week. “Trying to make it through this election and make sure our team is successful.”

Boehner is a practicing Roman Catholic, and has in the past joined with Democrats, notably the late Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.), to support Catholic charities.

“[Prayer] does work,” Boehner told the host. “You’ve just got to stay at it every day and build a closer relationship with our Savior.”

Kennedy. Hahaha. They said Kennedy.

Current speaker Pelosi has said in the past that she prays, but not for political outcome. Well, I guess that even Madame Speaker does not much care for prayer that solicits more dead babies. Maybe.

Besides, only someone like Aquinas would be deep enough to understand her nuanced theology.

So John Boehner, a Catholic, prays for victory. Good. Because according to a story in in JTA, he should be watching out for a certain Jew.

Cantor poised to become the highest-ranking Jewish member in the history of the U.S. House of Representatives. If the Republicans take the House, as the pundits and polls are predicting, he is expected to rise to the position of majority leader.

Maybe even House speaker, as the buzz goes, if the new wave of Republican lawmakers decide to dump Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio), who some conservatives see as too close to lobbyists and establishment interests. Cantor, the only Jewish Republican lawmaker in the Congress, denies that talk.

Catholics. Jews. Prayer. Politics. Boy, all the things you are not supposed to talk about in polite company.

Anyway, I don’t know who will become Speaker, the Catholic or the Jew, but I can tell that either one of them will be beaten over their heads with their religion by the Ordinary Ministers of the Media. These stories this week are just the beginning.

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