OK. This is the worst news ever. Brace yourself. The United Nation’s is appointing the head of the Office for Outer Space Affairs to come up with a response should we be visited by space aliens.
Really.
The Telegraph reports:
Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist, is set to be tasked with co-ordinating humanity’s response if and when extraterrestrials make contact.
Aliens who landed on earth and asked: “Take me to your leader” would be directed to Mrs Othman.
The 58-year-old is expected to tell delegates that the proposal has been prompted by the recent discovery of hundreds of planets orbiting other starts, which is thought to make the discovery of extraterrestrial life more probable than ever before.
Mrs Othman is currently head of the UN’s little known Office for Outer Space Affairs (Unoosa).
This is the United Nations that can’t handle a dweeb like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. But they’re going to handle Jabba the Hut?
The good news is that there’s been a lot of debate already. But there’s already debate on how aliens should be handled.
Opinion is divided about how future extraterrestrial visitors should be greeted. Under the Outer Space Treaty on 1967, which Unoosa oversees, UN members agreed to protect Earth against contamination by alien species by “sterilising” them.
Mrs Othman is understood to support a more tolerant approach.
More tolerant? Oh great. She’s already appeasing the aliens and they don’t even exist yet!
Let’s hope that we get some warmup runs with aliens like jar jar Binks before they’re forced to deal with some real heavy duty intergalactic space villains.
This is lunacy. What’s next? An ambassador to Bigfoot? Seriously. We now have people in jobs to handle problems that don’t exist yet but might someday?
And what is she spending her days doing. She gets into her office, tosses her E.T. lunchbox on her desk and then…what?
She could spend an hour or two learning to play the theme to Close Encounters on the synthesizer.
Write a paper comparing and critiquing the human response to aliens in Mac and Me with how the campers treated the alien they named “Meathead” in Meatballs 2.
Read a Whitley Streiber book during her coffee break.
Figure out a way to explain to the aliens that Israel is evil.
And maybe if there’s time figure out how we can point all of our nuclear weapons skyward instead of at each other.
