A new authorised biography of the Holy Father, aimed at younger readers, was published recently. Written by Chico, a ginger tomcat, the book recounts his memories of the young Joseph Ratzinger, growing up in a Bavarian family in Nazi Germany.
This freaks me out. What if my past pets start yapping about how I treated them? I know two turtles who I definitely didn’t treat very well. I was finally forced by my father to let them go for their own good. Those things live forever. They could still be out there. If they’re still out there I can’t have them talking.
Great. Now because of the Pope I have two certain turtles to track down and threaten. Never mind my neighbors dog. Id’ forgotten all about that little episode.